


Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You

by Tatsuha21



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst, Fluff, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Multichapter, Porn With Plot, Simulated Missions, Switching, Underage Drinking, alien dick, blowjob, pre-kerberos, roommate matt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-04-13 17:45:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 38,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14117604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tatsuha21/pseuds/Tatsuha21
Summary: Set before the Kerberos mission, Shiro and Keith got together and everything seems to be going smoothly.Now Shiro wants to take the relationship to the next level but Keith is slamming on the breaks. What would Shiro think if he found out he was hiding something that didn't quite look human?





	1. Chapter 1

“I can’t do it, Matt! I just can’t!” Shiro groaned, flopping back onto the soft bed; arms splayed in exasperation. The empty candy wrappers surrounding him rustled with the movement.

“Why not? It’s a simple enough question,” Matt reasoned with him, fingers fumbling to unwrap a particularly stubborn lollipop. “I’m sure he’s expecting it sooner or later.”

Shiro’s hands came up to rub the inner corners of his eyes. “I’m not good at this sort of thing.”

“But you’ve done it before, right?” Matt questioned, finally freeing the big strawberry lolly and shoving the whole thing into his mouth, making his cheek bulge out.

“No, Matt. It was always them that initiated it. It just kinda happened without any need to talk about it.”

“Why not just do that then? You make the move – see how he reacts.”

Shiro shook his head. “No, I’m not touching him until I know he’s definitely ready for it. I don’t think he has any experience and I don’t want him to feel like I’m forcing him.” He threw an arm across his face, covering his eyes and let out a deep sigh.

He’d been dating Keith for months now. Usually by this stage in a relationship, things would’ve gotten heated long ago. But Shiro had never been the one to make the first move, and it seemed that Keith wasn’t going to do it either, so maybe he’d have to bite the bullet this time…

“Hey, Shiro.”

The lower, huskier tone to Matt’s voice made him peek out from under his forearm.

“Why don’t you tell him without words~?” He leaned closer, pulling the lolly from his mouth with a loud pop; a sultry gleam shining in his eyes as his voice deepened further, into a poor but recognisable imitation of Shiro’s.

“Hey, Keith~” He arched an eyebrow flirtatiously and wrapped his lips around the lollipop; sinking down onto it in the lewdest way possible… until it hit the back of his throat and he gagged.

A snicker rose in the Shiro’s throat and he tried to suppress it, clamping a hand over his mouth. But he couldn’t hold back anymore, and he gave up trying, laughing so hard that tears formed at the corners of his eyes.

“Dear god, Matt! If that’s how you give head then the world should be thankful you’re not gay!”

 

......

 

“Good, Keith. Just like that.”

Keith squirmed a little in his chair. _Didn’t Shiro realise just how sexual that sounded?_

He gripped the handles of the yoke tighter, refocusing his attention on the simulated mission where he was weaving his way through the rocky outcrops of a virtual desert planet.

He pulled up sharply to avoid a rugged cliff face and Shiro’s fingers dug into his shoulders as he braced himself against the back of the chair. Keith levelled off and the hands loosened their grip.

Suddenly, something hit the wing of the spacecraft, knocking it slightly off balance.

“What was that?” Keith shouted in alarm.

As if on cue, another object smacked into the other wing, soon followed by a myriad of similar thuds.

“It’s raining,” Shiro remarked. “And on this planet, that means diamonds.”

“Shiro, what do I do?” the cadet grunted.

“Think, Keith.”

Keith groaned. The shower of diamonds was getting heavier. It was becoming increasingly difficult to see out the windscreen and soon one of them was bound to do some real damage to the ship.

“I don’t know, Shiro!” he groaned in frustration. “Tell me what to do NOW!”

The hand on his right shoulder squeezed down.

“Clear your mind, Keith. Remember – patience yields focus,” Shiro said softly.

The cadet did as he was directed. He took a deep breath, repeating Shiro’s mantra, and envisioned the stress slipping from his mind. An idea formed in its wake.

“We need to get above the cloud cover!” he exclaimed.

“Excellent, Keith! Take us up!”

Keith blushed a little at the praise before pulling back on the yoke and angling the craft upwards. He felt Shiro’s hands holding onto him tightly again. Really, he should be strapped safely into one of the other seats, but he always insisted on being as close to Keith as possible during his flight practice.

The rough, unrefined diamonds pelted against the reinforced glass, completely obstructing their view.

“Shiro?”

“There’s nothing to hit up here. We don’t need to see. All we need to know is our altitude, now GO!”

Keith increased their speed, continuing on their upward trajectory. His eyes were trained of the ships altimeter, watching the number slowly increase. The sheer force of the rain was pushing down on them was like an enormous weight and the ship was struggling to battle upwards against it.

“The rain’s pushing us off course,” the cadet groaned. “At this rate it’ll take forever to get out of this storm.”

He pressed harder on the lever to his right, upping the power of the thrusters and hummed in approval as they started to gain more altitude.

The higher they got, the harder the diamonds pelted against the window, and the more erratic their trajectories seemed to become. The spacecraft began wobbling noticeably.

Keith held tightly to the yoke, fighting to keep them steady on course. Shiro’s arms wrapped tightly round his shoulders, preventing himself from falling to the back of the ship.

Brightness filled the cabin in an instant as they broke through the cloud layer.

“You did it, Keith!” Shiro praised and a smile tugged at the corners of the cadet’s lips.

“Damage report?”

Shiro rubbed his chin, looking at the monitor in front of him.

“Looks like those cracks in the windscreen are gonna need some attention. At this altitude, the atmospheric pressure is too low. The whole thing could shatter at any moment.”

“Better not stay up here any longer then, I suppose,” Keith muttered.

“You need to find somewhere safe to land and make the repairs,” Shiro instructed and Keith eyed the monitor, flicking a switch to start a scan of the area.

“There!” he proclaimed. “The radar is detecting a network of caves West of our position. We should be able to reach it before the storm does.”

The engines which had been mostly idle, holding the ship in its current position, whirred to life again, propelling them westward and scattering the sparse wisps stretching up from the underlying clouds that sprawled beneath them.

The thick carpet of grey clouds thinned as they neared the storm’s edge. They could now catch glimpses of the rocky surface below and the giant cliff faces that sheltered the opening to the cave system.

The violent storm system was looming closer to it with every passing second. Keith accelerated, forcing the ship into a nosedive the moment he saw a clear path.

That familiar thud returned, diamonds smashing into the rear of the craft, but Keith ignored it – eyes focused on the entrance to the largest cave as it drew nearer and nearer.

He pulled up, just before they smacked into the dusty ground, and suddenly darkness poured into the cabin; the walls of the cave seeming to close in around them. But they were safe.  
  
Keith switched on the external lights, illuminating the cavern which was rugged and worn; and the ship’s light cast strange shadows across its uneven walls. The cadet located a reasonably flat patch of terrain, where he brought the craft down gently.

Just as they touched down, the lights inside the cabin came on full-force, almost blinding them with their intensity. The cave before them vanished – replaced by the words “SIMULATION PASSED” across the large screen.

Shiro flashed a bright smile at Keith.

“Well done, baby. If you carry on at this rate, you’ll surpass my record in no time.”

“I’m not that good,” Keith muttered quietly, but a warmth welled up inside his chest at the compliment.

“Don’t downplay your talent, Keith. You know you have it, and I know it can be even better if you let it.”

“Ok.”

Shiro stretched his arms widely.

“Let’s get out of here. Can I buy you a coffee?”

“But…. don’t you wanna stay and practice too? Your mission’s tomorrow.”

“Nah, it’s ok,” Shiro assured him. “It’s not the big deal everyone’s making it out to be. I’m just taking a few scientists up to the ISS and coming back.”

“But it’s the first time you’re not just co-pilot to a senior officer. Technically, this is your first real mission. It _is_ a big deal,” Keith insisted.

“I guess…” Shiro rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s just… it’s not exactly an exciting mission. Nothing like what we do in the simulator.”

Keith grimaced. He wished there was something he could do to help Shiro get excited.

“Well, that’s why you applied for the Kerberos mission, right?”

Shiro scratched at his chin. “I don’t know if I’ll get it though. They don’t usually hand out big missions to fresh graduates…”

“But you’re the best, Shiro!!! They’d be idiots not to take you!!”

Shiro laughed at Keith’s passionate retaliation.

“Ok, I’ll try and get excited for tomorrow… Maybe you can help. Come by the post-grad barracks after lights-out?”

Keith’s breath caught in his throat. _Was that Shiro’s way of asking him to have sex?_

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

He’d known this day was coming. He’d just hoped it wouldn’t be so soon.

_The time he’d spent with Shiro had been the happiest months of his entire life. He’d never expected to find something like this – to find someone he could get close to and let get close to him._

_At first, he’d tried to stay distant. That was the right thing to do. No one deserved to deal with all the fucked-up shit that came with being with him._

_But Shiro had been so warm; so kind. Keith couldn’t help but let his guard down and let himself slowly fall deeply in love with such a beautiful, charming, charismatic man._

_His plans of staying single forever were thrown carelessly into the wind when Shiro had finally plucked up the courage to confess his feelings. To this day, it was the best moment of Keith’s life – he’d even flung himself at his new boyfriend, pulling him into a passionate kiss which Shiro had enthusiastically returned._

He should’ve been more prepared for this day. He’d known ever since then that it was coming – the day he’d have to break up with Shiro.

“Keith? Keith, are you listening?”

The boy snapped out of thoughts. “Huh?"  
  
“Are you alright, Keith? You zoned out for a while there.”  
  
“Yeah, I’m fine. What did you say?”

“Matt and a few others are throwing a party for me tonight. I’d be really happy if you came.’” 

“Oh! A party… yeah, I could come.”

Keith breathed a sigh of relief. He knew it was only prolonging the inevitable but the selfish part of him wanted just a little more time with Shiro; a little more time to be happy and forget about the fucked-up problem that was going to end his bliss. 

“Great! I look forward to it!... Are you sure you’re ok though?”

“I’m fine. Just tired,” Keith lied.

“Let’s go get you that coffee then.”

Shiro’s phone made a beep and he pulled it out of his pocket. He quickly angled it away from Keith’s gaze, but not before the other could read the waiting message from Matt.

Matt: _Hey, did you tell Keith yet? If you haven’t, you should tell him the party’s in your pants and he’s the only one invited :P_

 

......

 

Lights-out had already passed, and the post-grad common room was in ruckus. Music was blaring loudly from the speakers in the furthest corner, and every flat surface was sticky and littered with red plastic cups, ranging from empty to half-full.

Keith couldn’t believe the post-graduates could get away with this. There was no way an undergrad wouldn’t be expelled for something as simple having alcohol in their dorm.

He weaved his way through the crowd of strangers, paying them no mind; his eyes scanning the room for that familiar tuft of black hair.

He spotted Shiro on the other side of the room, avidly refusing a brightly-coloured drink from an insistent Matt. Keith made his way closer, getting jostled a bit by the inebriated guests.

“Keith!” Shiro shouted, a little louder than necessary, as he saw his boyfriend approach. “I’m so glad you made it! For a moment, I thought Iverson had caught you!”

The cadet laughed derisively. “As if he could stop me.”

He looked to Matt. “Give me a drink!” he demanded.

“Wait, Keith! Is that a good idea?” Shiro interjected.

“Says the guy who’s drunk even though he has to fly tomorrow. I’m eighteen, Shiro. That’s old enough to drink in a lot of countries.”

“I’m not trying to baby you, Keith. It’s just… if you haven’t had it before, you might want to start slow.”

“I can handle it!” he asserted, grabbing a half-filled red cup from the table and downing the liquid. He felt completely fine and he slammed the empty container down on the wooden surface beside him. _The sound of a glass hitting the table would’ve been more impressive,_ he mused. But he was sure he’d still made his point.

Matt facepalmed and started snickering into his hand.

“Well done, Keith!” he laughed, slapping Keith’s shoulder. “You just downed a cup of mixer!”

Keith’s whole face turned red with embarrassment.

“Give me a real drink!” he barked angrily, trying to push down his feelings of humiliation. He pointed at the clear cup in Matt’s hand, with the drink Shiro had turned down. “What’s in that one?”

“Try it~” Matt smirked, holding the cup out to the younger man.

Keith accepted it and looked down into the liquid, twirling the straw and mixing the brightly-coloured contents together.

“That’s one of Matt’s infamous mystery cocktails,” Shiro explained to him. “They taste incredible but you really feel them the next morning.” He turned to his ex-roommate, his tone becoming firm. “And that’s why I’m _not_ having one tonight!”

Keith sipped the drink slowly, taking in the flavour. It was very sweet, almost to the point of being sickening but not quite. He liked it.

“Shiro, can we go somewhere private and talk?” he asked shyly, swirling the straw again as a distraction from his nerves.

“Sure, my room’s just down the hall.”

 

......

 

As soon as the door closed behind them, Keith’s hands gripped tightly at the fabric of Shiro’s shirt, just above his biceps. He balled them up into fists and shoved his boyfriend backwards, roughly slamming him into the wall.

Before the older man could protest, Keith’s mouth was on him, kissing him forcefully. He gave in, deepening the kiss which soon evolved into a heated make-out session and his hands found their way into his boyfriend’s long, black locks; pulling him closer.

As they parted to gasp for air, he felt hands on the fastenings of his jeans, roughly pulling them open.

“Keith!”

The cadet dropped to his knees at lightning speed, hitting the floor with an audible thud. In an instant, he had freed Shiro’s semi-hard cock and closed both hands around it. Shiro couldn’t help but moan at the sensation.

“Keith…. Keith, stop,” he panted. “You’ve been drinking.”

Oh god, how he wanted Keith to keep going. It already felt so good. But he just couldn’t take advantage of the man he loved like that.

“I had one sip, Shiro. I feel fine.” His tongue swiped across the slit teasingly, and Shiro felt like his knees were going to buckle. His hips jerked forward involuntarily as another moan tore from his throat.

There was no more reason to resist. Keith was clear-headed. He wanted to do this.

The cadet closed his mouth over the now fully-hard length, taking in a surprising amount. He held the base to steady it and leaned forward, sliding the cock towards the back of his throat. Shiro gasped at the feeling.

Keith’s throat contracted, making him choke. Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes as he fought the urge to throw up. He retreated a little, focusing on sucking as much of the length as he could comfortably fit in his mouth.

He bobbed his head eagerly, using his tongue to add even more stimulation to the underside. Shiro’s hands clawed desperately at the wall behind him, finding nothing to grab onto to ground himself.

“Oh god, Keith!” he cried, leaning his full body-weight against the wall. His boyfriend’s actions were erratic, unpredictable – and it was driving him wild.

Keith made another attempt at deep-throating Shiro’s large cock, but gagged again; fresh tears forming and clouding his vision. He didn’t bother to wipe them away. Instead, he worked his hand up and down the rest of his boyfriend’s length, trying to make sure every inch got the attention it deserved.

It was taking immense effort for Shiro to keep his hips still. It had been so long since he’d had a blowjob and all he wanted to do was buck forwards into that warm, willing mouth and fill it with cum.

Keith’s hand and mouth started moving faster; he was sucking harder. The sides of his mouth were starting to ache from stretching so wide.

“Keith~” Shiro moaned. “I’m gonna-”

He never finished that sentence. It was replaced by a loud moan as he came hard, the force of it making his legs and voice tremble.

He slumped back against the wall as the last ripples of pleasure died down. Keith was looking up at him. The tears had finally fallen from his eyes and left two wet streaks down his cheeks, meeting with the corners of his lips where another, whiter liquid was spilling out.

A knock sounded at the door, startling the two. Keith hastily wiped the cum from his mouth with the back of his hand as Shiro tucked his softening cock away and buttoned up his pants.

“What is it?” Shiro called, trying to sound nonchalant and moderately succeeding.

Matt’s voice answered. “It’s me. Can I borrow your bottle opener? I think someone lifted mine.”

“Y-yeah, sure.” He glanced back to check Keith was decent and opened the door, fishing his keys out of his pocket. He detached the bottle opener keyring Matt had gotten him for his birthday last year and dropped it into his friend’s hand.

Matt eyed the two suspiciously, noting their flustered appearances.

“Was I interrupting something?” he questioned, eyebrow arching slightly.

“No! No, we were just talking!” Shiro waved his hands dismissively. “But we’re done now.”

He turned to his boyfriend. “Wanna go re-join the party?”

Keith nodded and followed the other two back to the common room, the taste of Shiro’s cum still lingering on his tongue.


	2. Chapter 2

Keith awoke to the sound of his alarm clock. He groaned from underneath his duvet before one arm braved the cold and silenced the incessant beeping.

As he opened his eyes, he became aware of a dull throbbing in his right temple – no doubt the result of a late night and Matt’s mystery cocktails, of which Keith had finished several. The pain was irritating, but nowhere near as bad as Shiro had made it out to be. He swelled with pride at the idea he might be able to hold his liquor better than someone older and significantly larger.

The cadet wondered what his boyfriend was doing at that moment. He was sure to be awake already – probably showered, dressed and mentally preparing himself for the mission ahead.

Keith slid from his bed, pulling off his clothes and chucking them to the floor. He was thankful that his roommate had dropped out earlier in the year, leaving him with a dorm all to himself – a privilege that usually only post-grads and senior officers had.

He opened a nearby drawer and retrieved a fresh cadet uniform; then dressed himself quickly, ignoring the fact he was putting clean clothes on a less-than-clean body. He would’ve preferred to shower first, but with communal showers for the cadets, this was better than risking someone seeing him naked. 

He would wash later, in the afternoon when it was quiet – just as he always did. That was the best time to ensure he wouldn’t be disturbed.

For now, he sprayed on some deodorant and fixed his hair up a little before heading down to the post-grad barracks to wish Shiro luck.

 

......

 

As predicted, Shiro was clean-shaven and dressed smartly in his freshly-ironed uniform. Completely pristine, he was a stark contrast to Keith’s unkempt hair and messy uniform. In his haste, the cadet had skipped over a button, making his entire outfit look lopsided, and the twisted black belt slung across his waist did nothing to help the matter.

Shiro smiled, endeared by how careless a sleepy, early-morning Keith could be. He’d be sure to tell the boy before he headed off to class, but for now he decided to let him be.

“How’re you feeling after last night?” he asked gently.

“I’m fine. Just a little headache,” Keith confessed.

“Where does it hurt?”

Keith gave him a confused look. “What? Why does it matter?”

“Just tell me.”

He hesitated a moment before pressing his index finger to his right temple. “Here, I guess…”

Shiro leaned down and kissed the spot. He could’ve sworn he heard Keith mumble the word “idiot” under his breath but didn’t react beyond pulling the boy into a warm hug. His finger and thumb found Keith’s chin, directing it upwards and kissing him.

“I wish I could be there to actually see you off,” Keith confessed.

“I know, but your class is more important. I’ll see you tonight when I get back. Now, go before you end up being late.”

Keith disentangled himself from his boyfriend’s strong arms, somewhat hesitantly.

“Good luck today, Shiro.”

The man smiled in response. “Thanks. Oh, and Keith? Straighten that uniform up if you don’t wanna be stuck in detention when I get back.”

 

......

 

The morning’s class was exactly what Keith needed – something exciting he could lose himself in. It began with a presentation on various types of projectiles, both natural and synthetic, and moved on into methods for avoiding them. After a short instructional video, the students on the pilot program were ushered down the corridor towards the massive room that housed the simulator.

The room looked a bit too full in Keith’s opinion. There weren’t _that_ many cadets on the fighter pilot program.

Glancing around, he picked out a few nameless faces that he recognised as belonging to cargo pilots. He wasn’t really sure why they were even there, but he didn’t argue. He wasn’t the one running the course.

Commander Iverson eyed the cadets sternly; his hands clasped behind his back making his chest puff out, so he looked even more formidable.

“Alright, cadets!” he called; deep voice easily carrying across the room. “The simulator has been set up with an asteroid field. You’ll each get your chance at it. The goal is to make it to the far end of the field without any irreparable damage to the ship.”

The students began muttering amongst themselves.

“Oh, and you’ll be taking this test on advanced mode.”

The muttering grew louder. Several students spoke out about how unfair it was to start the class off at such a difficult level, but Iverson ignored them.

“I want to see how you all respond under pressure. So far, only one student has ever passed this to my satisfaction. It has been years, and still no one has beaten Shirogane’s record.”

Keith’s attention piqued at the mention of his boyfriend’s name. Everyone here knew Shiro – not on the personal level that Keith did, but they’d all heard tale of his legendary ability. His talent had surpassed any the Garrison had ever seen before, and that made him a little bit of a celebrity around campus.

Keith’s ears caught the conversation of a group of cargo pilots standing nearby. A brown-haired boy in the centre of the huddle was confidently telling the others how he was going to beat the record and then march up to Shiro and tell him, right to his face.

Keith snorted derisively. A cargo pilot had no chance of outperforming Shiro. No one there did.

A student near the front of the crowd, a girl with black hair and glasses, was the first to enter the simulator.

Keith watched the screen carefully as the view from the ships windscreen appeared. His eyes darted back and forth, head moving subconsciously with them as he mentally mapped out the route he would take through the asteroid field. His fingers twitched involuntarily, itching to be holding onto the controls.

His teeth gritted each time his mental manoeuvres diverged from the pilot’s, breaking the illusion that he was the one flying.

He did the same thing as he watched each pilot’s performance. Some were only short-lived as they crashed fatally early on, but several others lasted long enough for Keith to tell that each simulation was different. There was no advantage in memorising the asteroid positions, as he was sure some of the other students had been trying to do.

He’d had no such intentions himself. It would only help him do well this day, but it wouldn’t make him a better pilot in the long run.

The brown-haired boy took his turn and Keith took notice. His performance was… amusing. Keith had quickly given up on using this simulation to practise for his own. The boy had crashed into damn-near every asteroid. The ship was being buffeted in every direction, accompanied by a long, high-pitched scream.

When Keith finally got his chance, he stepped into the simulator and took a deep breath before buckling himself into the big, padded chair. His hands gripped the yoke firmly as the program rebooted.

He let the thoughts of being watched fall from his mind. His classmates didn’t matter.

He started the craft and swerved easily to avoid a large asteroid as he approached the outskirts of the belt. His clear mind automatically generated a path through the rocks and all he had to do was follow it.

He imagined Shiro’s hand on his shoulder, comforting him but not interfering. Even though it wasn’t real, the presence calmed him.

The asteroids became denser the further he travelled. They were becoming more and more difficult to avoid. He was on the brink of a collision many times, pulling up sharply just a whisper away from the rocky surface.

Another asteroid appeared as if from nowhere. Keith pulled hard on the yoke. It was too late though. The tip of the wing clipped the surface and a warning light flashed above his head. The stress was getting to him. If he stayed in this mindset, he was sure to make more mistakes.

He breathed deeply again, thinking of Shiro’s mantra. _Patience yields focus._

The bad thoughts faded from his mind and he concentrated back on his test, holding it together until he noticed the asteroids becoming sparser again. He realised he must be nearing the edge of the field. None of the other pilots had made it this far.

He veered left, dodging another massive asteroid, and glimpsed the blank, open space just ahead. He fought the urge to speed up. If he was too focused on the finish line, he might miss something else. He could still crash and ruin it all.

He maneuvered carefully between the remaining rocks and shortly the view in front of him vanished, replaced by the words “SIMULATION PASSED. NEW RECORD.”

He couldn’t believe his eyes. Somehow, he’d beaten Shiro. It didn’t seem possible, but that’s what the machine said.

Everyone stared at him as he stepped out of the simulator. Even Commander Iverson seemed to be in disbelief, his jaw hanging slack. He quickly recomposed himself, muttering a quick “Good work, cadet.”

Keith raised his hand to his temple in a salute. “Thank you, Sir.”

He then shuffled away, smiling to himself. His boyfriend was going to be so proud when he heard the news. He wouldn’t say anything today though. This was Shiro’s big day.

 

......

 

Shiro returned safely and in time for the evening meal. Between bites, he recounted the details of his earlier mission to Keith and Matt across the table in the Garrison cafeteria.

Occasionally, he was interrupted by another curious student. He offered each of them a quick reprise of the events before turning back to his friends and giving them the full run-down.

Keith was happy to see that Shiro was talking excitedly about the mission that he’d been less-than-enthusiastic about the day before. It wasn’t the glory-grabbing assignment he knew his boyfriend was hungry for, but he was now seeing it for what it was – an achievement to be proud of, and an important stepping stone to greater things.

Once they finished up, Keith and Shiro bid goodbye to Matt and made their way across campus, in the opposite direction to the dormitories.

Now, out of the the main student area, their steps became careful; quieter. They weren’t supposed to be in this section after hours – not without permission. But this wasn’t the first time they’d sneaked out past curfew, so they were confident they could get away with it this time too.

The pair made it off the campus completely undetected, as they had done many a time before, and followed their usual route until they could see the ragged, rocky slope stretching below them. Taking each other by the hand, they clambered down the slope, using each other for balance.

Occasionally, one of them would lose footing; their boots skidding across the sandy surface, or a mound of loosely-packed earth would give way under their weight; and they would cling tighter to the other, anchoring themselves. A tumble down this hill would be far from fatal, but certainly unpleasant. And it wasn’t worth the hassle of coming up with an excuse for their injuries at the infirmary.

They stopped as they reached a large mass of dry, brown weeds that was partially obscured by the surrounding rocks. They each grabbed fistfuls of the plant matter and started pulling it away.

The first glint of shiny, red metal showed through one of the gaps, and they kept going, soon uncovering the hidden vehicle – Keith’s hoverbike, that he was proud to say he’d built himself from spare parts.

Keith gripped the handlebars, throwing a leg over the bike and settling himself on the padded seat. Shiro climbed on behind him, wrapping his arms around Keith’s waist in lieu of anything else to hold on to. Besides, it was a lot more intimate this way.

_Shiro remembered the first time Keith had taken him out on the bike, and the butterflies he’d had in his tummy from being so close to the younger man. He could feel the warmth of his back, pressing flush against his chest; and smell the soft, sweet scent of his hair._

_His stomach had flipped as Keith drove over the edge of a rocky precipice, and he’d clung tighter to smaller man, burying his face against one of his shoulders. He knew the stomach flip was from more than just the sudden drop. Thinking back, that was probably the moment he’d first fallen in love with Keith._

The engines whirred to life on either side of them, and the whole vehicle lifted, hovering a few feet above the ground. Shiro braced himself as Keith accelerated forwards, climbing to top speed in a matter of seconds.

Looking out towards the horizon, the sun was just beginning to set, casting long shadows of the unusual rock formations across the desert sand. The wind whipped through their hair, shaping Keith’s long strands into sleek, black tendrils that flowed behind him. The ends tickled Shiro’s nose and cheek, but he made no effort to stop them.

Dusk had already settled by the time they abandoned their thrilling laps of the gorge, in favour of sitting together on the veranda of the old wooden shack, as they had done on many previous nights over the past few months.

Keith rested his head against his boyfriend’s muscular shoulder and felt an arm wrap tightly round his waist and pull him a little closer.

“Hey, Keith. Look,” Shiro said softly, pointing to a patch of sky near the horizon.

Keith’s eyes followed the line of Shiro’s arm, searching just above the parked hoverbike, and spotted a bright light in the darkening sky.

“That’s the International Space Station.”

Keith smiled wistfully. “It’s hard to believe that you were up there just a matter of hours ago.”

Shiro’s elbow nudged him playfully. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous?”

“A little,” Keith admitted.

“You’ll get there too. Just a few more years of training and you’ll be ready. Maybe we’ll even get to go on a mission together some day.”

Keith pulled his jacket tighter around himself. “Yeah… I’d like that.”

They stayed like that a while; just enjoying the cool air, the quiet, and each other’s company; before retreating inside and drifting into a similar position on the old, tattered couch.

A hand cupped Keith’s cheek and turned his face towards Shiro’s. Soft lips pressed against his and he melted into the kiss.

Suddenly the hand was on his knee, slowly and somewhat hesitantly sliding higher, towards his crotch. Keith panicked as it reached his upper thigh; abruptly taking control of the situation and grabbing Shiro’s wrist.

Before the man had a chance to apologise for being so forward, Keith had wrestled him down onto the couch, pinning him on his back. His hands pulled forcefully at Shiro’s jeans, making short work of the buttons.

Shiro could only stare as his dick sprang free from its confinement and was immediately engulfed by a warm, eager mouth.

It was all Keith could think of to get the attention off him. He needed to keep the man distracted long enough to think of an out. He’d been lucky last time with Matt’s interruption, but there was no one to disturb them out here, in the middle of nowhere; miles from the nearest civilisation.

He realised now – it had been a poor decision to take their relationship into this new territory. Now that he had, there was no going back.

He’d been the one who was scared to get intimate; constantly living in fear of when Shiro would make the move. And yet it had been Keith himself who’d brought this about; shot himself in the foot with his own gun.

He hadn’t been thinking clearly. That message from Matt he’d glimpsed on Shiro’s phone had panicked him. It had confirmed his previously-unfounded fears that his boyfriend was ready for more than just kissing.

He was desperate not to lose Shiro. He loved him, unlike he’d ever loved anyone or anything before. But that’s precisely why he had to end this. Shiro deserved better. He should be with someone he could actually have a future with.

_Just a little longer,_ Keith told himself.

Shiro’s moans grew louder; his hands curling into Keith’s hair. His hips started to buck upwards, but the cadet pinned them down. He redoubled his efforts, bobbing his head faster.

His boyfriend whimpered, Keith’s name hanging on every ragged breath as he inched closer to release. The cadet hummed around the thick cock in his mouth; the vibrations pushing Shiro over the edge.

Keith felt it throb against his tongue as warm, salty liquid flooded his mouth, and he savoured the taste for a moment – the proof that he’d satisfied his boyfriend – before swallowing it all with one gulp.

He licked his lips, looking up into Shiro’s face. The man’s eyes were closed and his mouth slightly open; his chest rising and falling steadily. He was … sleeping.

Keith let out an amused huff. The day’s mission had obviously taken more out of him than he was letting on.

The boy refastened the buttons on Shiro’s pants and grabbed the blanket that lay draped over the back of the couch. He pulled himself to his feet awkwardly, trying his best not to jostle the older man awake, and covered him with the warm blanket.

He then turned his focus to his own issue. His cock was straining against the fabric of his tight jeans, demanding attention. Having Shiro moaning under his touch had left him unbelievably hard. There was nothing else for it – he was going to have to jerk off or he wouldn’t get any sleep.

He studied his boyfriend’s face once more, reassuring himself he was truly asleep, and settled himself on the floor; leaning his back against the edge of the sofa. He pulled a spare sheet over his lap as an extra safety measure, on the off-chance Shiro might wake up before he was done.

Quickly and quietly, he unzipped his jeans and freed his cock from his boxers. He wrapped his right hand around it and felt a vein on the underside pulsing against his palm. He was thankful for the layer of white linen blocking his view of what lay in his lap. Like this, he could almost forget he wasn’t normal. Almost.

Slowly, he moved his hand up and down his length, biting down on his lip to stifle his whimpers. His mind filled with the  fantasy of Shiro sitting before him, touching him with what he imagined to be skilled hands.

He pressed his head harder against the side of the couch as he quickened his pace, fingers becoming wet from the pre-cum leaking down his shaft. He rubbed his thumb over the head, imagining it was Shiro’s tongue.

A moan almost escaped him.

He grabbed the hem of his t-shirt with his left hand and stuffed it into his mouth, biting down on the soft fabric. It muffled his noises somewhat, but louder moans were still threatening to slip out.

He could feel himself getting close and clamped the hand tightly over the cloth in his mouth as he reached climax – warm, thick liquid shooting over his bare stomach in long messy, spurts.

The second his orgasm ended, the shame hit him, as it always did. He was gross; disgusting. His body was wrong. Even an imaginary Shiro shouldn’t be subjected to that.

He hastily grabbed a handful of tissues from the box on top of what-passed-for a coffee table – a large square of un-sanded wood, supported by a haphazard arrangement of different-sized cinderblocks.

The mess had already started sliding down his belly but a folded piece of tissue caught the biggest splodge of cum just as it neared his waistband. It took all the tissues he had to clean himself up and, when he’d finished, he threw the sodden mass into the bin and wiped his hands on the back of his jeans. He would’ve preferred to wash them, but running water wasn’t a luxury he had out here in the shack.

He looked over at Shiro again. He was still sound asleep. Keith stepped closer, lifting the blanket a little and slipping underneath. He eased himself into the narrow space between his boyfriend’s large form and the edge of the couch.

His body would probably protest this awkward position with aches and pains in the morning, but for now he didn’t care. He snuggled in closer, resting his head on Shiro’s chest; breathing in his scent and listening to his heart beat.

_Just a little longer._


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing Shiro noticed when he woke up was the warm body pressed against his side; face nuzzled against his shoulder. He gazed lovingly at his boyfriend’s sleeping form. Keith looked so beautiful, bathed in the soft, warm glow of the early morning sun which was muted by the thin, gossamer veil hanging across the window.

He’d never had the privilege to watch the man he loved sleeping before. It warmed his heart to see such a peaceful, contented expression on Keith’s face.

The second thing he noticed was the tight, restricting feeling around his leg joints. Stretching slightly, he realised he was still wearing his jeans from the night before. Sleeping in denim always made for some unpleasant bed sores. He wished he’d remembered to remove them before he drifted off.

Now that he thought about it, he didn’t remember making the decision to spend the night in the shack. Keith and he had always returned to the Garrison campus, and to their separate bedrooms, long before sun up.

The memories of the previous night drifted back to him. They’d been kissing passionately on this very couch when Keith had suddenly pushed him down, practically tearing open his pants, and given him the blowjob of his life.

It had ended there.

He felt a pang of guilt deep in his gut. Keith had been so excited; so obviously in the mood, and Shiro had fallen asleep, neglecting his boyfriend’s needs. He had to fix that.

He idly traced a finger up the length of his boyfriend’s arm, feeling the slight tickle of the thin, barely-visible hairs, and lazily drew invisible shapes around the curve of his shoulder. Keith roused at the touch.

“Shiro, you’re tickling me,” he mumbled sleepily.

“Sorry, baby.” He pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. “Thank you for last night. Now let me return the favour.”

The warm body immediately began squirming out of his embrace.

“No, Shiro. We don’t have time,” the cadet stated flatly.

“But-”

“But nothing, Shiro.” He threw the blanket back and stood from the couch. “We have to get back now. You know how much trouble we could get in… especially you… What would they say to an officer stealing a cadet away in the middle of the night?”

“I’m not officially an officer yet. And besides, you were the one driving. Technically, _you_ stole _me_ away,” the older man teased.

“They won’t see it like that though.” His voice was solemn; broken. It made Shiro go silent.

He watched wordlessly as Keith busied himself stuffing his arms into the sleeves of his red leather jacket. He lifted a black glove from the coffee table and pulled it on, refusing to meet Shiro’s gaze.

His eyes searched the table top for the other but came up empty. He crouched down, supporting himself with one hand on the rough wood, and spotted the glove on the floor, hiding beneath the table. He picked it up and brushed the off the sand before putting it on as well.

“Get your jacket. We’re going,” he stated firmly. Still, he avoided eye contact.

Shiro did as he was told.

The journey back to the Garrison was awkward. A heavy tension hung in the air between them and all Shiro could think about was what he could’ve done to cause this. Everything had been going well up until the point he’d tried to get in Keith’s pants.

_Was that what he was mad about? That Shiro was coming onto him too strong?_ It didn’t seem likely. After all, last night he’d done the same thing and gotten a more-than-positive response. _Maybe he was angry that he hadn’t gotten anything in return and felt Shiro didn’t deserve a second chance to give it to him._

_......_

As soon as they arrived back at the Garrison, they had gone their separate ways – Keith to his classes, and Shiro to his officer training course.

They were on opposite ends of the campus until late afternoon when classes ended. It was then that Shiro decided to stop mulling over it and reach out. He pulled his phone from his pocket, and nervously started to type.

He erased his message and started over, only to erase it again a moment later.

Ten minutes had passed by the time he finally had something he was happy with. He decided to keep the message casual – a mere request for Keith to spot for him at the gym – and save his apologies for when he saw the boy in person.

He pressed send and held the phone tightly to his chest, praying he’d get a response.

His phone buzzed almost immediately, startling him as it vibrated against his sternum; and he checked it right away.

Keith: _Sure. Where’re you at now?_

Shiro’s heart fluttered.

Shiro: _Still at mine. Meet me here?_

Keith: _I’ll be right over._

 

_......_

 

It was only five minutes later when Keith arrived at the post-grad barracks. He spotted Matt in the common room, sitting alone with a book on his lap. The man looked up as he heard the door open and noticed the cadet.

“Where’s Shiro?” Keith asked.

“In the kitchen,” Matt replied, pointing towards the door behind him with his thumb.

Before Keith could take another step, the other spoke again.

“I don’t know what happened between you two, but he’s been fretting about it all day. You should talk to him.”

Keith swallowed around the hard lump forming in his throat. He felt bad for that morning. He really did. But Shiro had been so close to finding out the truth. _What else could he have done except act distant?_

As he entered the kitchen, he saw Shiro with his back to him, pouring raspberries into the blender that was already half-filled with an assortment of different fruits.

“Hi,” Keith called quietly from the doorway.

The older man turned about-face in an instant.

“Keith…” His voice was unsteady; a little awkward.

The cadet stepped forwards, closing the distance between them and kissed his boyfriend on the lips before he could utter another word.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry about us.”

“No, it’s my fault,” Shiro argued. “I’m sorry last night wasn’t very good for you… I guess I was just tired… but I promise I’ll make it up to you next time!”

“It’s not that, Shiro.” Keith groaned in frustration, trying to think of the right way to word his next sentence. “It’s just… I’m not really ready for that sort of stuff yet.”

He cursed himself inwardly for adding the word ‘yet’. He hadn’t meant to say that. He didn’t want Shiro to hope that they could get intimate someday. There’s no way he could ever deliver on a promise like that.

But his boyfriend’s arms closed tightly around him, banishing those thoughts and replacing them with a feeling of warmth and safety.

“That’s ok, Keith. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I can wait, however long it takes for you to be ready.”

“Thank you,” Keith whispered against his collarbone, his worries feeling far away for the moment.

 

......

 

They arrived at the gym and Shiro quickly spotted an unused bench and claimed it, placing his water bottle on the floor beside it. The bar lay empty on the supports, but it wouldn’t stay that way for long.

He carefully considered the disc-shaped weights on the adjacent rack before selecting a large one and slotting it onto one end of the long metal bar. Keith held it steady while his boyfriend loaded the weights.

“You’re really going for it today, huh?” Keith remarked.

Shiro settled himself back on the bench, his feet planted firmly on the floor, and reached up for the bar. A smirk tugged at the corners of his lips as he looked up into his boyfriend’s face.

“Well, I _was_ up in space. All that lack of gravity, Keith. My muscles are wasting away~” he joked dramatically.

“You were there for like three hours, you moron.”

Shiro’s hands gripped the bar tightly and Keith got into position – forearms taking some of the bar’s weight as Shiro slowly lifted it from the supports.

“I’ve got it,” Shiro stated, and Keith lowered his arms a few inches, letting his boyfriend take the full weight.

Shiro lowered it slowly towards his chest, feeling the strain in his muscles as its weight fought to descend faster. He sucked in a deep, steady breath, releasing it gradually as he raised the bar again.

Keith looked on in awe. He was in love with the intense look of concentration on his boyfriend’s face as he lifted; the sweat beading on his forehead from the exertion; and the way his pronounced muscles flexed under the strain.

From this angle Keith could also see the beads of sweat forming between his pecs, where they peeked out the top of his loose grey tank top. The droplets gathered in the valley between the taut muscles as Shiro lowered the bar, only to be pushed out as it was raised, and the muscles squeezed tightly together.

Keith swallowed down the drool forming in his mouth. _God, how he wanted to lean down and lick them up._

The faint clatter of metal on metal brought him out of his fantasy. Shiro had finished lifting and returned the bar to the support rack.

He stood from the bench and wiped the sweat from his face with the bottom of his tank top. The action exposed most of his perspiration-soaked midriff and Keith found himself lusting after his boyfriend’s glistening abs. The front of his pants started to feel tight.

 

......

 

Keith hung by the door as Shiro showered, leaning against the wall and facing the opposite direction; trying desperately to quell the sexual desire burning within him. If he could, he would hop into the next cubicle and take the coldest shower of his life, but it was just to risky to get his dick out with Shiro in such close proximity.

His boyfriend stepped out of the shower, towel already wrapped around his waist. Keith’s eyes wandered over his naked torso before he caught himself and averted his gaze, trying his best to keep up the casual conversation they’d been having.

He breathed a sigh of relief when Shiro was finally fully dressed and he no longer had to fight to control his wandering eyes, but the bulge in his pants still wasn’t letting up. In fact, he felt more desperate than ever.

 

......

 

As soon as they entered Shiro’s room, the Keith’s resolve was gone. He was on him in an instant; kissing him fervently. He pushed the man backwards until he hit the edge of the bed and his knees buckled, toppling them both onto the mattress.

Keith straddled his boyfriend’s hips and started pulling on the hem of his t-shirt. Their lips parted only long enough for the fabric to pass over Shiro’s head before it was thrown carelessly to the side as their mouths found each other again. Desperate hands were all over the man’s chiselled torso; rubbing, grabbing and squeezing at every inch of skin that was exposed.

Soon, a tongue joined them, lapping at all the spots that had been enticing him earlier; imagining the taste of those glistening beads of sweat.

Keith had never felt so horny in his entire life. He wasn’t sure exactly what his end goal was, but he knew he wanted Shiro bad.

His hands dropped to Shiro’s crotch and he started working the button free.

“Keith! Keith, stop! You’re not ready!”

He paused and looked down at his boyfriend’s flustered face.

“I… I can do this much, Shiro. I can take care of you,” he said softly.

“That’s not fair on you, baby.”

“Please, Shiro.” His hands gripped the denim tighter. “In the gym today… you were so… It made me so… Oh god, Shiro, I want it bad.”

“If you want, I could touch you t-”

“NO!” It came out harsher than he’d intended. He dropped down to a calmer tone. “I’m not ready for that, Shiro. Just… please let me make you feel good.”

In that moment, Shiro wasn’t sure what to do. On the one hand, he felt guilty at the thought of accepting pleasure from his boyfriend and not giving any in return. But on the other hand, he was so hard, and he wanted to feel that warm, talented mouth around his cock again.

Keith was being so adamant that he wanted this too. Those beautiful eyes were looking at him with such intense need.

He caved.

Unzipping his pants, he freed his cock as Keith dropped to his knees on the floor and had his mouth around it immediately, humming in satisfaction at the feel of it, hot and heavy against his tongue.

He pressed forwards, taking in more of its length and sucked, hard; coaxing out a moan, then let it go with a pop, wetting his lips with his tongue before dipping down again and taking it even deeper. He bobbed his head eagerly, moaning himself at how good it felt having Shiro’s big cock in his mouth, stretching his lips wide.

A hand pressed gently against the back of his head, like a hesitant pat.

“G…Good boy, Keith,” his boyfriend mumbleded from somewhere above him. He sounded apprehensive as he tried out the compliment.

Keith wanted more.

He swirled his tongue over the head, paying close attention to the slit, and was rewarded with more praise.

“So good, baby. You’re so good at this~”

He closed his mouth over it again, sinking lower until it was nearly at the back of his throat. The whole thing was slick with his saliva and his mouth seemed to be generating more the hornier he got.

“So beautiful, Keith. I love that pretty little mouth wrapped around my cock.”

A new wave of arousal coursed through Keith at his boyfriend’s use of such a dirty word, and his hips jerked forwards of their own accord; cock brushing against his forearm. He grinded into it, enjoying the friction of his clothes against him.

Keith’s chin was dripping with saliva. He couldn’t help it spilling out as he forced himself to take his boyfriend’s cock deeper. His tongue relaxed, and he felt the head slide into his throat. He felt so gloriously full.

Shiro moaned loudly at the new sensation.

“Oh fuck, Keith!”

Keith leaned forwards, sliding the cock into his throat until his nose pressed against his boyfriend’s pubic bone. Shiro started babbling nonsense as the younger man moved his head faster. He lost the ability to form coherent praises and Keith could tell he was getting close. He was too.

His hips grinded desperately against his arm. It felt so good. He was going to lose it at any second.

Shiro bucked his hips a final time, and the cadet felt the scorching seed running down his throat. His own body shook; the tight coil inside him transforming into a warm wave of pleasure as a dizzying orgasm overtook him.

The moment he came down from his high, the shame set in again. He cupped his hands tightly over his crotch, shielding it from Shiro’s view and ran to the ensuite, slamming the door shut behind him.

Hastily, he grabbed the waistbands of his jeans and his boxers, yanking them both down in one movement to see how bad the damage was. From waist to knee, he was a huge mess of cum. It’d gone right through his boxers and dribbled down the length of his thighs.

_Oh god! Oh god! What the fuck do I do?_

He grabbed fistfuls of toilet tissue and started hurriedly wiping up the mess. It was no good – there was just too much. If he threw any more tissue in the toilet, it would be sure to block. He was fighting a losing battle. His pants and boxers were soaked through. There was no hiding it – not when it was this bad.

Keith fell to his knees, tears forming in his eyes and spilling down his face before he had a chance to stop them. His fists clenched against the cold tiled floor, his whole body wracked with sobs. There was nothing he could do. He couldn’t leave the bathroom without Shiro seeing this. Cumming in his pants would be embarrassing enough but added to that was the completely unnatural amount. It’d be obvious his body wasn’t normal.

A knock came at the door.

“Keith? Keith, are you ok in there?” He sounded so worried.

Keith sniffled loudly as he tried to speak.

“I…I’m fine, Shiro. Don’t come in!”

“Baby, I can hear you crying. What happened? Did I do something wrong?”

Shiro blaming himself was the last thing Keith wanted. He had to do something to reassure his boyfriend.

“No, Shiro! You didn’t do anything. It’s me. I… I wet myself.”

“You…what?”

The cadet’s cheeks burned with embarrassment at admitting something so ridiculous. But he had no choice but to go with it now.

“I pissed myself, Shiro!” he cried, voice trembling. “I didn’t make it to the toilet. I’m sorry.”

His boyfriend went silent a moment and the tears returned. This was it - he’d fucked up the relationship. No self-respecting man would be with someone who pees their pants like a child.

“It’s ok, Keith,” Shiro said softly. “You don’t have to be sorry. Accidents happen.”

Keith didn’t speak. He couldn’t believe his boyfriend was taking this so well.

“You can take a shower. There should be a towel in there already. And we have washers here – you can put your clothes in… and you can wear some of mine ‘til they dry…”

He wanted to cry all over again at his boyfriend’s kindness, but he didn’t allow himself. He simply replied with a weak “Thank you,” and stood up from the cold floor.

Keith peeled off his sticky pants and underwear and balled them up with the worst of the mess on the inside. He took his t-shirt off too - if he was being offered some of Shiro’s clothing, he could sacrifice this piece to wrap around his pants. The less chance of his boyfriend glimpsing the real cause, the better.

Setting the disgusting bundle aside, he then turned on the showerhead; holding his hand under the stream until it was sufficiently warm, and then stepping under it and letting the hot water rinse the seed and the shame from his body.

He allowed himself to relax. This was the first time in a long while that he’d been able to shower without looking over his shoulder, terrified someone would see him; and he took full advantage of it.

By the time he finally turned the water off, he felt a lot better. He reached for the towel and dried himself off before hearing another knock at the door.

“Keith, I have some clothes here. I’m gonna open the door a bit and pass them in. Is that ok?”

“Yeah, that’s ok.”

He wrapped the towel around his waist, just in case, and stepped closer to the door, positioning himself just behind it. It opened and Shiro’s hand appeared, holding a neatly folded outfit. Keith took it and thanked his boyfriend before the door closed again.

He dressed himself slowly, unused to wearing such large, ill-fitting clothes. The boxers hung loose around his hips and the thin canvas pants pooled around his ankles, more than a few inches too long. At least they had a drawstring waist, which he tightened to fit his narrow frame.

Shiro’s baggy white t-shirt engulfed him. The ends of the sleeves brushed his elbows and the hem hung near his knees. He was under no illusions about how thoroughly stupid he looked. Still, it was better than Shiro seeing him drenched in his own cum.

He opened the bathroom door slowly and stepped out into the bedroom where his boyfriend was reclining on the bed which stood against the far wall. He looked up at the sound of the door, and just stared.

Keith shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny.

“Keith… you look so cute!”

The boy’s cheeks tinted red.

Shiro got up and moved closer, scooping him up in his arms and holding him close to his chest. He carried Keith to the bed and set him down gently on top of the duvet, before grabbing one edge and folding it over his body.

“What’re you doing?” Keith asked, confused.

“You’ll see. Now keep your arms still.”

The cadet offered him a puzzled expression but didn’t resist. Shiro grabbed the other side of the duvet and pulled it over too, wrapping his boyfriend up in a sort of cocoon. Satisfied with his work, he settled himself against the headboard and hugged Keith tight to his chest.

“Now I’ve got a little Keith burrito,” he announced happily.

Keith would be loathsome to admit he’d smiled at that.

“This is dumb and you’re dumb.”


	4. Chapter 4

The room was filled with steam and the sound of water hitting the textured tiles that made up the shower room floor. The cubicles were all empty apart from the one which Keith occupied. He was scrubbing hurriedly at his body, ears straining to hear anything other than the splattering of the water beneath him.

He felt so vulnerable, so exposed; and he hated it. 

Someone could walk into the cadet shower room at any moment, so he had to be prepared to hide himself at a split-second’s notice. He scrubbed faster.

There was another reason for his haste this day - he was supposed to be meeting Shiro at the simulator very shortly. He despised the thought of being late, especially since extra practice time in it had to be booked in advance, and each student was only given a narrow time slot.

It wasn’t his fault he was going to be late though. When he’d arrived that afternoon after class, one of the stalls had been in use and he’d had to wait. He supposed he could’ve just skipped the shower that day, but he really didn’t want to. It was warm, and he’d been running around a lot. He didn’t want to smell bad, especially when he was going to be in such close proximity to Shiro.

 

……

 

By the time he finally arrived at the simulator, Shiro was already there and waiting.

“Sorry I’m late, Shiro. I got caught up with something.”

A gentle smile graced the man’s lips. “That’s ok. We’ve still got time to run one simulation.”

Keith relaxed at his boyfriend’s understanding and patience.

“But you know what’s not ok, Keith?”

He froze.

“I was talking to Commander Iverson this morning. He said you beat my record on the asteroid field last week. How come you never told me?”

“I’m sorry. It was the day of your mission. I didn’t want to steal your thunder. Then I guess I just… forgot…” He rubbed sheepishly at the back of his neck.

“Thank you, but I always want to hear about your victories, no matter what else is going on. Really. I’m so proud of you, Keith.”

The cadet’s chest swelled with warmth and pride.

“But remember, it’s only one simulation. You’ve still got a lot of training to do if you want to reach my level.”

At the teasing words, a sense of determination blossomed within Keith. He relished a challenge. Shiro always pushed him to be his best, never letting his ability stagnate. After all, complacency in one’s talents leads to mediocrity, and Keith wanted so much more than that.

Shiro threw a smirk over his shoulder as the doors to the simulator slid open and he stepped inside.

“Now get your ass in here and let me show you want a real pilot can do.”

 

……

 

Shiro assumed the pilot’s seat and buckled himself in; Keith taking up position behind the chair, gripping the back of it firmly. The older man scrolled through the selection of programs before choosing one and booting it up. Keith’s brows furrowed.

“That isn’t the asteroid belt. Didn’t you bring me here to watch you reclaim your record?”

Shiro laughed. “Nope! You earned that one, so you can hold onto it a while longer. I wanna do something a bit more exciting.”

The cadet quirked an eyebrow but remained silent.

The virtual world around them took shape – a planet covered in vast blue oceans with strange, jet-black rock formations jutting out here and there towards the dusty pink sky.

Dry land was sparse, but Keith was fairly sure the visible rocks spread out into a massive network, just below the surface. The waves were just too calm; they spoke of shallower waters than one would think at first glance.

Shiro took their craft lower, breaking the surface tension and splashing water high around them, like putting a spoon under the faucet, and the sea crept higher and higher up the windows until they were completely submerged.

The black rock sprawled beneath them, seeming to go on forever in every direction. Its surface was pockmarked with shallows crevices and deep trenches but, in the stretches between, it was shiny and smooth from millennia of being worn down by the tides.

“Hold on tight, baby,” Shiro directed as he approached the edge of the nearest trench. Under his control, they delved deeper, entering what looked to be a dark cave.

Suddenly the external lights came on and they rocketed forwards. Keith almost lost his balance but managed to cling onto the back of the seat. Even with the light, it was difficult for the cadet to see where they were going. Everything outside was passing by in a blur of black rock and bubbles.

He could just make out a flat wall ahead of them, and Shiro pulled hard on the yoke, barely missing it and diving down an adjacent passageway.

The walls seemed to be closing in around them. With every sharp turn, the tunnels grew narrower and narrower until they were just wide enough for the wings of the craft to pass through unscathed. One wrong move and they’d crash horrifically.

Deep down, Keith knew they were safe. It was only a simulation. But often his mind would forget that fact in the rush of adrenaline that overcame him with Shiro at the helm.

Even when his mind was convinced it was all real, he still felt at ease. His boyfriend had talent to spare and Keith hoped to one day have such command of a ship, moving together so seamlessly it could’ve been an extension of himself.

“Faster!” the thrill-seeker inside him cried out and Shiro accelerated immediately.

Keith held tightly around his boyfriend’s shoulders as his body jolted left and right each time the craft turned sharply. His knees clamped down around the sides of the chair.

The walls surrounding them opened up into a vast cavern and Shiro took them into a barrel roll, simply because he could, before hurtling down another narrow tunnel.

The cave opened out again and this time Shiro slowed to a stop. Keith’s grip loosened, and he looked up at the roof of the cavern in wonder. It was covered in thousands of tiny, glowing dots and he wasn’t sure if they were precious gems or some sort of bioluminescent organism, but they were beautiful - like the stars on a clear night out in the desert.

“Don’t tell me you brought me here for some romantic bullshit.”

Shiro laughed. “Nope. This is just the extraction point for the rock samples… but I saw that far-away look in your eyes. You like it here~”

He pressed a series of buttons on the dashboard, initiating the extraction sequence, and then turned his attention back to Keith.

“You had that same look that first night we sat out on the veranda. The night we watched the Perseids together.”

“I remember…” Keith smiled wistfully.

“That was also the night you first opened up to me. I was so happy you let me in.”

The control panel beeped, alerting them that the extraction was complete, but Shiro ignored it.

“We talked about so many things that night, Keith. I hope you know you can always be that open with me.”

Keith turned his face away to hide the uneasiness he felt sure was showing through. It’s true he’d been able to open up about so much of his past to Shiro, but this was the one thing he could never share. It was a horrible secret he knew he’d take to his grave.

“I do, Shiro...” A false but convincing smile returned to his face as he met his boyfriend’s gaze once more. “Now stop wasting time and finish this panty-dropping, white-knuckle ride.”

The man’s eyebrow arched.

“Panty-dropping?”

Keith’s cheeks turned red.

“It’s just a saying! I… I just meant it’s kinda…sexy watching you fly the sim.”

“And here I thought you came here to learn~” Shiro teased.

“Just shut up and go or you’ll not beat your last time.”

His hands closed around the handles of the yoke.

“Hold on to your panties then, baby!” And Keith went even redder.

In an instant they were off, flying down a winding tunnel at break-neck speed. The ship twisted and turned erratically at every corner, and Keith’s knuckles really were starting to turn white from the force he held onto Shiro with.

It was all too fast for him to comprehend. All sense of direction was lost, and he had no idea if these passages where the ones they’d entered through, or just another, similar set.

A light appeared ahead of them, growing steadily larger as they hurtled towards it – an exit!

Suddenly, the ships guns were engaged, locked and ready to fire.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” the cadet screamed.

Shiro didn’t respond, but the determined grin on his face told Keith that he knew exactly what he was doing. He fired the guns, striking the roof of the cave ahead of them. The black rock disappeared in a bright explosion as a deafening rumble filled their ears.

Keith clung tighter to the chair. Shiro had never done anything quite so reckless before, and he found it strangely arousing.

The pilot navigated the smoke cloud with almost impossible ease, swerving to avoid the larger chunks of falling debris, while the smaller rocks rained down on the craft, like hailstones on a tin roof.

A huge left of rock gave way just ahead.

“SHIRO, LOOK OUT!”

The man sped up, diving underneath the falling rock; and missing it by a hair’s breadth.

Shiro pulled back hard as they exited the tunnel, breaching the water’s surface and shooting upwards into the dusty pink sky. Keith clung on for dear life, heart pounding in his chest, but Shiro just chuckled.

The engines cut and the ship decelerated, hanging still for a split second, before plummeting downwards; making the cadet’s stomach lurch.

Shiro was no longer even holding onto the controls. His arms were splayed wide and his eyes closed. A relaxed breath passing his lips told the cadet he was at ease, just enjoying the thrill of the freefall.

Just in the nick of time, Shiro grabbed the controls and the engines whirred to life, levelling them off as the planet faded away and the words “SIMULATION PASSED” appeared across the display.

“Damnit!” Shiro laughed, shaking his head. “Fifteen seconds shy of my last record.”

“It’s your own fault, y’know? For wasting so much time in that cave.” The cadet tried to sound snarky, but his voice was trembling almost as much as his legs.

The adrenaline still coursing through his veins, Keith grabbed him by the collar the second he stood from his seat, pulling him into a deep, need-filled kiss.

Shiro’s strong arms wrapped around him, enveloping his small frame.

The cadet’s hands roamed over the expanse of his boyfriend’s back, feeling the shape of his muscles through the thick fabric of his uniform. Suddenly Shiro’s hot breath was in his ear.

“You can go lower if you want~”

That sultry tone went straight to Keith’s cock, and his wandering hands did as they were told; moving downwards, passing over the leather of Shiro’s belt, and coming to rest on the globes of his ass. He squeezed them tentatively at first, noting that they felt even rounder and firmer than his trousers suggested.

He bit his lip. He’d been a long-time secret admirer of Shiro’s ass, stretching back to the days before they’d been properly acquainted. His hungry eyes had followed it as it passed in corridors or ascended a flight of steps ahead of him.

And now it was cupped in his own two hands. He grabbed it tighter, kneading the cheeks firmly; claiming them as his own.

He could feel the older man’s erection pressing against his hipbone, and discreetly angled himself away, hoping that Shiro wouldn’t be able to feel his own.

“Keith~” the man breathed in his ear, his words dripping with lust. “I wanna go further~”

The cadet stiffened in his arms, but a gentle hand caressed his back and calmed him.

“You don’t have to take any clothes off. I just want you to-”

“SHIRO!! SHIRO, ARE YOU HERE?”

Matt’s voice was accompanied by a loud thud on the metal door.

The two sprang apart in an instant as the simulator doors opened and the man entered, arms flailing. Either he didn’t notice their flustered faces and the sexual tension in the room, or he was too excited to care.

“Shiro! They just announced the commander for the Kerberos mission! They’re sending my dad!”

“That’s amazing, Matt! Commander Holt is one of the best. I had a feeling they’d choose him.”

“Do you know what this means?” he carried on, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Yeah!” Shiro pumped his fist, quickly elevating to the other’s level of excitement. “We actually have a shot at this!”

“You always did, Shiro. And now I do too!”

Shiro clapped a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “How could he not take you? You’re the smartest person we know.”

Keith butt in. “No commander can do that. They have to choose who’s right for the job, not just whoever they like best.”

“I know, I know, Keith,” the young man reassured him, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Final decisions are made by the committee. But!” He waved his finger in Keith’s face. “He _can_ put in a good word for us.”

 

……

 

The three returned to the post-grad barracks, chatting animatedly about the possibility of being sent on such an exciting, ground-breaking mission. Or at least, the other two were – Keith had stayed mostly quiet, not really knowing enough about the specifics of a Delta IV Heavy rocket to add anything of value to the conversation, especially when Matt already seemed to know everything down to the last detail.

He listened intently though, taking in some of the information and smiling at the passion with which the men conversed.

As they reached the door, Matt suddenly halted.

“Guys, I just remembered I forgot to finish an assignment that’s due tomorrow.”

Shiro panicked a little. “That’s not like you, Matt. Do you need a hand?”

He waved his hand dismissively. “No, no. I’ll be fine. It’s my own fault for forgetting. I’ll just head up to the library now and finish it off. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

Even Keith knew it was unusual for Matt to leave his assignments to the last minute. He eyed the man suspiciously as he bid them farewell, and thought he saw a knowing smirk grace his lips just before he turned away.

Strong arms closed around the cadet, and a voice whispered in his ear.

“Looks like we have some time to ourselves.”

He leaned back into the hug.

“What were you trying to ask me earlier?” Keith prodded, blushing a little at the memory. “Something you wanted me to do for you?”

Shiro smiled against his shoulder, holding him tighter.

“You don’t have to if you’re not ready, but I’d really like it if you fingered me.”

Keith gasped, his cheeks turning an even deeper shade of red.

“I… I didn’t know you…” His sentence trailed off. He didn’t know how to finish it. But every part of Keith that was in contact with him tingled in anticipation.

“I…I can do it.”

 

……

 

Shiro lay across the mattress, legs parted and dangling over the edge – one on either side of Keith who was settled between them, leaning over his boyfriend and pressing kisses across his lips and face.

His eager hands unfastened the buttons of the man’s grey military jacket with haste, exposing the tight, black tank top underneath and his eyes were immediately drawn to the outline of Shiro’s nipples that were visible through it.

He pushed the jacket over his boyfriend’s broad shoulders and down his arms before grabbing the tank top and yanking it up over his head. He took no mind to where the clothes ended up. He just wanted them out of the way.

Shiro’s hands moved to unbuckle his belt but Keith batted them away. He was being too _slow_.

As Keith cast the trousers aside, his attention was captured by the shape of his boyfriend’s thick cock that was clearly visible where it strained against his grey boxers; and the damp spot over the top of its slit. He unwittingly licked his lips at the sight of it.

He tore his gaze away long enough to remove to the man’s pants, and suddenly his throat felt tight. He’d never seen Shiro so _naked_ before. Sneaky glances in the locker room were one thing; having him almost naked and sprawled beneath him was something entirely different.

And he was only going to get even more naked. Keith’s hands trembled a little as he removed those grey boxers – the last item of clothing separating his clothed body from his boyfriend’s bare one.

Shiro shifted on the bed, bringing his feet up onto the mattress and causing his legs to spread open a little more. He looked up at Keith, visibly horny and completely unabashed.

“Top drawer,” he prodded, words startling the cadet who just realised he’d been staring open-mouthed at the other’s body.

Keith opened the first drawer on his boyfriend’s nightstand and reached in, finding it was mostly just filled with clean, neatly-folded boxers, but as his hand closed around the small, plastic bottle of lube, it brushed against something rubbery in texture.

Shifting some of the underwear aside, his curious gaze found a purple, silicone dildo. His eyes lingered on it a moment, taking in the length and the flared, suction-cup base; and he couldn’t help the mental images of Shiro using it on himself.

He closed the drawer again before his mind could wander further and squeezed some of the lube onto his hand. He ran his thumb over the blob, focusing on the feel of cool liquid as he spread it across his fingers. It felt weird, foreign.

Looking down at Shiro, and seeing the man looking back up at him with need, Keith summoned his courage and shuffled closer, pressing one fingertip against his boyfriend’s puckered hole. He felt it flinch at the touch and pulled away immediately.

“It’s ok,” Shiro soothed. “It’s just cold.”

Keith muttered a quick “sorry” and felt his cheeks heat up at the thought about what was about to happen. Shiro noticed his hesitation.

“Keith? Are you ok?”

“Yeah, it’s just… I haven’t done this before,” he admitted.

“Even by yourself?” he asked gently. Keith shook his head.

“But I want to do this!”

Shiro took in the look of determination on his boyfriend’s face and smiled, his hand closing over Keith’s and gently guiding it back to the groove between his cheeks.

With his slick middle finger resting against his boyfriend’s butthole, Keith could feel it pulsing under his touch. He rubbed against it tentatively and felt it relax. And he did too.

Shiro’s middle finger aligned with his and pressed down, slowly pushing the younger’s fingertip into him.

Keith gasped. He wasn’t prepared for how tight it would feel, or how warm. At Shiro’s pleasured hum, he gained some confidence and slowly pushed in a little deeper.

The walls were tight around him, clenching against the intruding digit. Part-way in, it felt like his boyfriend’s body was pulling him inwards and he gave in to its wishes, watching as Shiro’s half-lidded eyes crossed for a moment as the finger sunk all the way inside.

“Press upwards,” Shiro instructed, voice breathy, and he obliged. His fingertip met with soft, silky tissue, and then he felt it – a hard bump underneath.

Shiro cried out, throwing his head back.

“Right there, Keith!”

The cadet felt the arousal coursing through him and prodded at it again, drawing out another loud moan.

“Is that your…” He jerked his head, trailing off because he felt awkward about saying the word ‘prostate’ aloud.

“Yeah,” Shiro panted, locking eyes and starting to roll his hips. “Move your finger, baby. In and out.”

Keith swallowed down the drool forming in his mouth and did as he was told, thrusting in and out of his boyfriend’s hole; keeping his pace slow and aiming right for that spot.

He was surprised at how easily the tight walls yielded to his finger. With every thrust, they grew evermore pliant.

“Does it…feel ok?”

“Yeah…You’re doing really well, Keith…. It feels good.”

The blissful look on Shiro’s face as he rolled his hips tugged at something within him. He looked so good. Keith could hardly believe he was the cause of it, and he wondered briefly if it really did feel as good as it looked.

He pushed those thoughts aside. There was no point even entertaining the idea. He already knew he wouldn’t be comfortable exploring his own body like that. That’s why he seldom ever masturbated – doing so only as often as was necessary. He’d never be able to relax and enjoy it like Shiro clearly did.

“Keith~” the man moaned, spreading his legs even wider. “Put another in~”

Keith pushed another slick finger in beside the first and Shiro bit his lip, letting his head fall back again. Shiro started stroking his neglected cock, his moans becoming more and more desperate; spurring Keith on. The boy quickened his pace, trying to keep time with Shiro.

Soon, his arm started to cramp, and he cursed it inwardly. He knew it was probably understandable – it wasn’t used to this motion. But he couldn’t allow himself to give in to its pleas for reprieve – not when Shiro was making _those_ noises. If they were anything to go by, he was definitely getting close.

Keith fought against his fatigued muscle, thrusting his fingers into his boyfriend with as much strength as he could muster. _Just a little longer_ , he told himself. After Shiro was satisfied, he could rest.

His muscles protested, threatening to give up altogether, but Shiro’s gaze found his again and he pleaded, “Don’t stop,” – that desperate look in his eyes forcing Keith to obey and push through it.

A moment later, those tight walls clamped down on his fingers, muscles flexing and spasming around him as Shiro cried out in ecstasy; toes curling and legs trembling as he was overwhelmed with pleasure, just as Keith was overwhelmed with the beauty of the sight before him.

Shiro took a few shaky breaths as he came down from his high before grabbing Keith by his arms and pulling him down into a tight embrace. The cadet faceplanted into the side of Shiro’s neck where he could smell the faint scent of his sweat. It was enticing so he nuzzled in closer, feeling content despite the erection still throbbing beneath his jeans.

He would deal with that later. But for now, he just wanted to stay close to Shiro, taking in the defined contours of his spent body, and taking pride in the fact he’d been the one to satisfy it.


	5. Chapter 5

Shiro lay awake that morning in his bed. With it being the weekend, and him not having any of his seminars to attend, he would usually be in the gym at this time. Or at least doing some body-weight exercises in his room.

But instead, he just lay there, mulling over the situation with Keith. It still bothered him. He still felt guilty for always being on the receiving end of their sexual encounters, even now; even after all of Keith’s assurances.

To anyone else’s mind, it would seem like he was selfish, although he was anything but. He desperately wanted to _give_. Maybe it was a little selfish – after all, he did get a huge amount of satisfaction from pleasing his partners. It was possible that Keith was just really into giving too.

Still, it didn’t make a lot of sense to him that Keith would be so opposed to the idea of receiving pleasure himself. Not being ready was one thing, but this seemed like something else.

He seemed to have a high enough sex drive. Shiro could tell that his boyfriend was horny from the way he kissed him after a workout, and from the ragged breath he felt in his ear as Keith undressed him. He was sending out all the signals that he was in the mood, bar one – Shiro had yet to see or feel an erection poking against him.

Maybe it was by chance, or maybe he’d intended it that way, but it definitely made Shiro suspicious. Perhaps there was a very specific reason Keith wasn’t ready to get intimate and maybe it had to do with whatever was in his pants.

Shiro’s mind had constructed all sorts of possible scenarios, but two in particular stood out to him – the two most likely causes for Keith’s hesitation.

The first was an obvious one – that he was embarrassed about the size of his endowment. A small dick was absolutely nothing to be ashamed of in Shiro’s opinion and he wouldn’t be the least bit disappointed if Keith had one. Still, he could understand the thought process – stuff like that did matter to some guys.

The second big contender was that maybe he didn’t have an endowment at all. He had only met Keith that academic year, and had never seen any old photos of him, so it seemed perfectly plausible that he might be trans. The idea didn’t faze him. He was, as yet, unfamiliar with those parts but he’d be damned if he wasn’t willing to learn. All he wanted was to make Keith feel good.

It hurt Shiro to think that his boyfriend could feel so ashamed of either of those things, to the point of shying away from any sexual contact; to the point of not even wanting Shiro to know about it. He’d never judged Keith on anything he’d opened up about in the past and he certainly wasn’t about to start by judging him on his genitals.

Of course, he’d never demand an explanation from Keith for his behaviour. Whatever his reasons for avoiding sex, it was his own private business. He just wanted to somehow convey to his boyfriend that if he ever did want to open up, he didn’t have to be afraid.

A knock on Shiro’s door roused him from his thoughts.

“Shiro, you still here?” came Matt’s voice.

He didn’t bother moving as he called back, “Yeah, come in.”

The man entered and his expression changed instantly from relaxed to concerned.

“What’re you still doing in bed? You feeling ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Shiro lied.

“You sure? ‘Cause I’ve only ever known you to stay in bed late for two reasons – either you’re sick or you’re in your head about something, so which is it?”

“I stay in bed late for other reasons too,” he countered.

“Ok, maybe _one_ other reason. But if that’s what you’re doing under that blanket right now then I’m outta here.”

Shiro blushed a little but quickly recovered.

“I guess I _am_ in head about something,” he admitted.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I can’t really. It’s not exactly my issue to discuss.”

“Ok, well… I’m here if you need me.”

“Thank you, Matt,” he said, a genuine smile gracing his lips. “So what did you stop by for?”

“Actually, I need to borrow your shaving cream."  
  
Shiro laughed.

“Matt, you don’t even _have_ facial hair. It’s just fluff.”

“Be that as it may, I still want to look my best. I’m meeting this really pretty girl for coffee in an hour.”

“Ok, ok. It’s in the cabinet by the sink.”

Matt crossed the bedroom to the ensuite door and paused, hand hovering over the door handle. He looked back at the other man, his tone becoming teasing.

“And you promise me _that thing_ ’s not still stuck to the shower wall? ‘Cause I could really do without that mental image.”

“THAT WAS _ONE TIME_ , MATT!”

 

……

 

“Shiro… There’s something I need to talk to you about…”

Shiro was taken aback by the sudden statement. He and Keith had both been silent for the past few minutes as they sat on the veranda that evening, looking up at the stars as they often did when they had time to spare.

“Anything, Keith. You know I won’t judge you,” he assured, wondering of this was finally it – the moment Keith would reveal what had been on his mind all this time.

“Before I say anything… could you…could you kiss me?”

Shiro’s hands cupped his cheeks, pulling him in slowly until their lips touched. Keith closed his eyes, ignoring the tears that were starting to well up. He knew that with the bomb he was about to drop, this would be their last kiss.

He leaned into it, wishing it would never end. But it had to. And it did.

As their lips parted, he pulled completely away and gathered the strength he needed to verbalise the line he’d been practising all day in his head.

“Shiro, we have to break up.”

He couldn’t meet Shiro’s gaze as he said it. That would make it just too hard. He was already shaking as it was.

“…Keith?” He could hear the tremble, the heartbreak, in his boyfriend’s – no, his _ex_ -boyfriend’s – voice. And it broke his heart too.

He finally looked up at the other’s face and his plan fell apart in an instant. There was no way his mouth could ever form the words he’d intended to say next – that he didn’t love Shiro anymore and wanted to go separate ways. Of course he couldn’t – because he didn’t mean a word of it.

His brain was screaming at him to follow the script. A clean break was the best way. They could move on and hopefully forget about each other. As if Keith could ever forget about Shiro. He knew he never would, but Shiro had a chance. He could meet someone new; someone perfect for him, and they could fall in love and build a future together and Keith would just be a distant memory.

He felt a hand on his.

“Keith, please talk to me…why?”

All those words he’d planned to say died in his throat, and the truth came tumbling out instead.

“Because you deserve someone better, Shiro!”

“There is no one better for me…Keith, what brought this on all of a sudden?”

There _had_ been a catalyst. It had happened that very afternoon in the gym.  
  


_Keith had been in the middle of his wrist curls and watching Shiro lift from across the room. Lost in the look of concentration on his boyfriend’s face, he hadn’t noticed the other man until the last moment._

_Handsome, confident, and downright sexy, he had casually approached Shiro just as he returned the barbell to the rack. From this distance, Keith couldn’t make out their conversation, but he could tell the man was flirting._

_It made him uncomfortable, especially when Shiro smiled and responded, and the man had stepped closer, probably sensing an opening._

_But it also made Keith realise that this was something he should let happen. He knew he wasn’t going to be Shiro’s happily ever after. His situation was just too fucked up. It was nice while it lasted, but he was keeping Shiro from finding the right guy – one who could give him everything he wanted, so it was time he let go…_

_Keith’s attention was caught by movement in his periphery as Shiro raised his arm, pointing towards him. His boyfriend smiled at him and he’d blushed, suddenly looking away and trying to refocus on his wrist curls._

_Now realising that Shiro was taken, the other man had backed down; and they hadn’t discussed the incident since._   
  


But it had been eating away at Keith for several hours now and he’d made his mind up. He wasn’t chickening out now. He had to do this – for Shiro.

“You shouldn’t be wasting your time with me,” he continued. “You should be with someone who’s right for you…”

“What? How could you thi-” Keith cut him off.

“There’re plenty of guys out there who want you…”

“Is this about that guy at the gym?”

The younger man looked away.

“Keith, he was flirting a little. I shot him down. I promise I don’t have eyes for anyone else but you.”

“That’s the problem though! You _should_ be looking at other guys. We’re not going to last.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Because, Shiro!” His hands clenched tightly around the wooden edge of the porch. “I’m too fucked up! You can’t have a normal life with me!”

“So what? I don’t want that, Keith. Other people can have their normal, boring lives. I want _you_ , and whatever life comes with that.”

The cadet trembled even more. He didn’t want to do this. He just wanted Shiro to hold him and tell him it was okay. But it wasn’t ok. He’d derailed the man’s life enough already. It was time to let him go so he could be happy. The tears began prickling at the corners of his eyes again.

“Keith…if you really want to end this, then ok. That’s your choice. But if you think you’re doing this for me, don’t. I’m not walking away if you still have feelings for me.”

“I do, Shiro,” he said simply, and suddenly a pair of strong arms were wrapped tightly around him.

“Then let’s keep trying.”

Keith wanted that. And, enveloped by that warm embrace, he found himself believing that maybe they _could_ try.

He twisted until his lips found Shiro’s, and that’s when the tears came out, streaking down his face and getting lost in the fabric of his boyfriend’s shirt; soon joined by a gentle whisper, a timid request almost lost on the evening breeze…

“Can we go inside?”

 

……

 

As the door closed, Keith’s lips were on Shiro’s again; kissing him passionately. He wanted to be all over him; to show him his appreciation.

“I love you, Shiro.” His mouth moved to the man’s neck, kissing and nipping at the skin with his teeth. “Let me…show you…how much.”

He heard a low groan in his ear and moved towards the couch, pulling Shiro down with him; his impatient fingers fumbling with the buttons on his boyfriend’s shirt.

“Keith, stop.” The man stood from the couch to gain some distance between himself and those desperate hands that he knew would make him lose his resolve. “We can’t keep doing it like this.”

“Shiro, please.” Those hands reached out for him but he grabbed them, kneeling down and pinning them to the couch at Keith’s sides.

“No. First, _I_ have something I need to talk to _you_ about.”

The cadet’s heart rate quickened at the stern tone to his boyfriend’s voice but he remained silent.

Shiro let out an exasperated sigh. “I just keep thinking about this whole one-sided thing we’ve got going on… How you never let me touch you…”

“Shiro!? I…I told you I’m not ready!”

“I know, baby… and that’s ok.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve just been wondering if maybe there’s a reason and-”

Keith opened his mouth to argue, but Shiro spoke louder.

“I know you don’t owe me a reason. You told me you’re not ready and that’s enough. It’s just… if there _is_ a reason… if there _is_ something you’re worried about, you don’t have to be.”

“Shiro…?”

His hand came to rest on the younger man’s knee, thumb caressing it reassuringly. “If it’s appearance… then I just want you to know, that really doesn’t matter to me. Whatever size you have, whatever you have, I love you, Keith.”

Keith gasped. Shiro sounded so sincere.

He was. He truly did mean every word of it, or at least he believed he did. Every scenario his mind had come up with ended the same – with him accepting Keith just as he was.

But his mind hadn’t considered every scenario.

Keith pursed his lips. Shiro was saying all the right things; all the things that made him want to open up and get this heavy burden off his chest.

But he held himself back. As much as he wanted to believe that his boyfriend’s words were the truth, he had to remind himself – whatever Shiro was expecting; whatever Shiro had prepared himself for, it wasn’t this.

“That’s it, isn’t it.” The man’s words came out more as a statement than a question. He wasn’t expecting an answer but then Keith nodded timidly, finally meeting his gaze.

Shiro leaned in closer. “I promise you, baby – I’ll love you no matter what you look like.”

Keith looked away again, fingers digging into the sofa cushion beneath him.

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew.”

“If I knew what?” His voice was still gentle; reassuring.

“If you knew that… that I-”

Keith made a rash decision. Tearing his hand from Shiro’s grip, he screwed his eyes shut, hooked a thumb into his waistband and yanked it down; exposing his still-hard cock.

With his eyes closed, he hadn’t seen Shiro’s widen in shock at the initial flash of purple.

The man was silent a moment, regaining his composure. He couldn’t let his boyfriend know how unsettled he felt on the inside.

His eyes studied the sight before him. The head of Keith’s cock was a vibrant shade of purple. The entire length had a similar hue to it and towards the base, the blue undertones gave way to pinker ones, ending in a pale lilac as the cock flared out slightly before tapering inwards, disappearing between his balls.

Right beneath the head sat three thick ridges, spanning the circumference. They looked like bands of hard tissue, just under the skins surface. Under Shiro’s gaze, they moved, and his stomach lurched.

“I’m a freak, aren’t I?” Keith sobbed, face shielded by his other hand.

Even half-hidden, Shiro could see the turmoil on his boyfriend’s face. He wanted it gone.

His eyes drifted back to those thick bands. Their movements looked uncoordinated. He realised that each one was moving independently from the others, slowly up and down; each at their own pace and rhythm. It was unnerving, like a spider scuttling across the floor.

“You’re not a freak, Keith.”

Time would’ve been a wonderful thing for Shiro to have – time to wrap his head around what stood before him. He really hadn’t been prepared for anything like this, but he knew his mind needed to catch up fast. Whatever happened in the following moments would affect the future of his relationship with Keith. He had to choose his words carefully.

“There’s nothing wrong with you.”

Keith’s eyes opened slowly, and he peered down at his boyfriend over the top of his hand.

“I told you - whatever you have, I’d love it. And I meant it, Keith.”

The boy’s heart gave a flutter. _How could Shiro be sitting there before him, presented with something so utterly disgusting and unnatural, and calmly telling him that he could love it?_

“Keith… can I touch you?”

His hand retreated from his face, and he gave a small nod.

Shiro’s hand reached forwards; his fingertips gently, and a little hesitantly, brushing against the side of Keith’s cock. The boy’s breath hitched at the contact.

Shiro ran his fingers up the length, tracing the outline of one of the ridges. A moan of pleasure escaped his boyfriend’s lips, and it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

Right then, it was like a switch had flipped inside his head and everything fell into place. It didn’t matter that Keith looked different. It didn’t even matter why. Shiro just wanted to make him feel as good as humanly possible.

Gaining some confidence, he stroked it lightly; up and down, fingertips following the curves of the undulating rings. Occasionally, they synchronised; rippling together like the bellows of an accordion, before parting again and resuming their distinct motions. More beautiful moans spilled from his lover’s lips.

He ran his thumb up the underside of his boyfriend’s cock, over the spot a frenulum would be on a more typical penis; and over the lavender-tinted slit.

A pearl of pre-cum formed in its wake and Shiro leaned forwards, licking it up. The sweet flavour was unlike anything he’d tasted before. His tongue teased at the slit, hoping for more; and was rewarded as fresh pre leaked steadily from it. He immediately started lapping up.

“Shiro… you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to force yourself.”

He looked up into Keith’s face.

“I want to, baby. I want you to feel good.”

Keith let out a desperate whimper.

Shiro covered his entire cock in kisses, mouth searching for the most sensitive spots and committing them to memory. The hardened ridges seemed to be a particularly good one, if Keith’s loud moans were anything to go by.

His mouth returned to them; the edge of his tongue tracing the groove between two of them as they flexed under his touch.

“Oh god, Shiro~” the boy panted. He slid further down the couch, subconsciously pushing himself closer to his boyfriend’s face.

Shiro’s fingers slipped under the other’s waistband, and he looked up; eyes asking for permission to continue. Keith didn’t react. He just looked down at him, eyes filled with need. He tugged lightly on the fabric, making his intentions clearer.

“Can I?”

Keith nodded and then felt his pants and boxers slowly slipping down his legs. Shiro carefully pulled the bunched fabric over his feet and discarded the clothes on the floor by his side. His boyfriend’s legs spread a little in invitation as his Shiro’s eyes returned to him. His heart felt light at the action. All hesitancy vanishing, Keith’s walls were coming down around him.

“So beautiful, baby.”

Shiro peppered the inside of Keith’s thighs with soft kisses, before his warm lips wrapped once more around the tip of his cock, sucking on it lightly. They coaxed another beautiful moan from the younger’s throat, and Shiro took in more; his mouth slowly closing over the ridges, one by one.

He heard a little gasp from above him as he accepted each one, and his eyes flicked up; catching the look of bliss that adorned Keith’s face.

_That_ is how he wanted Keith to feel when they were intimate. No more being scared and hiding himself.

The ridges bunched together again. He could feel it against his tongue. The sensation was strange, but he didn’t let that stop him. He started bobbing his head, taking in more of his boyfriend’s lavender cock each time he went down.

A loud cry tore from Keith’s throat as the tip of his cock hit the back of the man’s throat. Shiro relaxed his tongue, ready to push deeper, but those ridges undulating against him were stimulating his usually non-existent gag reflex.

It took a little extra effort to overcome it, but he did, and he accepted all of his lover’s length inside him.

Tears of joy and relief slid down Keith’s cheeks. Words were beyond him. He’d never felt pleasure like this before and never felt so at peace with his own body. Shiro had accepted him just as he was and was working so diligently on making him feel good.

Every sensation was more than he’d ever felt when touching himself. He wanted it to go on forever. No more racing to the finish line just to get it over with, he relaxed into each feeling, fully enjoying every one.

Shiro’s mouth pulled back, tongue swirling hard around the tip of his boyfriend’s cock, before plunging downwards, and taking the whole thing back in again.

Keith became nothing more than a moaning, panting mess under his lover’s ministrations. His hands clenched around the fabric of the blanket, and he pulled at it desperately; stretching it until it threatened to tear under the strain.

For the first time ever, his climax came naturally, unhurried; and he cried out as a huge wave of pleasure washed over him that made his hips jerk upwards and his thighs tremble.

Shiro almost choked at the sheer volume of liquid flooding his mouth, and half of it spilled down his chin and onto Keith. He swallowed the other half just in time as his mouth was immediately filled again. He swallowed that down too, along with every other delicious drop that Keith offered him.

When Keith finally came down from his intense orgasm, he wasn’t met with shame, but with a pair of loving eyes. He lay still, completely spent and too exhausted to move.

He could only watch as Shiro wiped the back of his hand across his chin and lapped up all the cum that had managed to escape his mouth.

“How do you feel baby?”

Keith was still breathless as he tried to laugh. “Like I get why you fell asleep that time.”

Shiro pulled himself up and planted a kiss on his boyfriend’s lips and Keith registered the sweet taste that was different from usual before realising it was his own, and his cheeks reddened a little.

With the new position, Keith could see the obvious bulge in his boyfriend’s pants and he wanted to do something about it. He reached for it but his arms felt heavy.

“It’s ok, baby. Just rest. You look like you need it.”

“But Shiro, you need t-”

“I’m fine, Keith. You made me feel good all those other times. This one’s for you.”

Keith felt warm inside at his boyfriend’s understanding and generosity, but he wasn’t about to let it go.

“If you wanted, you could…do it like…this…” Keith’s hand slowly made its way down his body, stopping at his upper thighs as they closed around it. Shiro’s eyes widened as the realisation dawned on him.

“Keith, are you sure?”

“I’m sure. I want you to feel good too.”

With that, Shiro shed the rest of his clothes and settled himself on the couch. He wrapped his arms around Keith’s thighs, pulling the boy towards him and holding his closed legs against one side. He pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s nearest knee and looked down at him where he lay sprawled across the cushions; body lax and spent, and his hair fanning out around his head like a messy halo. He looked perfect.

Shiro’s hand closed around the base of his cock as he positioned the tip against the small gap between his boyfriend’s slender thighs. Slowly, he pushed his hips forwards and bit his lip at the feel of soft, warm skin surrounding his length.

Beautiful, bright eyes looked back at him as he watched one of Keith’s tired hands reach for the hem of his t-shirt and slowly pull it up, exposing his pale chest.

“Keith, you’re so beautiful.”

Shiro’s free hand traversed the new terrain, mapping the curves of his lover’s body – the slight protrusion of his hipbones; the flat expanse of his taut belly; the dip along his sternum; and on to the modest, but definitely noticeable, muscles of his chest.

Keith’s head dropped back onto the cushion below.

“Make yourself feel good, baby.”

A warm feeling grew inside Shiro’s chest at the pet name. That was the first time Keith had ever referred to him as ‘baby’, but he didn’t call him out on it. He simply did as he was instructed, grinding his hips forward into that tight gap and moaning softly at the sensation.

Keith craned his neck to watch and he saw the head of his boyfriend’s cock appear and disappear from between his thighs, pressing flush against his own soft one. Too spent to possibly get back in the mood, he just lay there, enjoying the gentle stimulation and wondering what it would be like to actually have sex with Shiro. He could tell from the smooth roll of his hips, and the power of his muscular thighs, that he’d definitely be good at it.

His gaze drifted back to his boyfriend’s face. His brows were furrowed slightly from the exertion as he thrusted forward; small grunts and groans emanating from him despite the lip bite.

Shiro’s pace increased and those soft grunts turned into louder moans. Keith’s body was shifting across the cushions from the force of it and he summoned the strength to squeeze his thighs a little tighter; trying to add to his boyfriend’s pleasure.

The arm holding his legs in place tightened its grip, and the slap of his boyfriend’s hips against the underside of his thighs grew louder.

“Oh god, Keith! I’m gonna cum!”

“Cum on me, baby!” Keith shouted in encouragement, arching his body up off the sofa and no sooner had the words left his mouth than thick, white ribbons of cum were shooting towards him; landing, warm and messy, across his chest and stomach.

As Shiro let go of his legs, they flopped to the side, and he leaned down to capture his boyfriend’s lips. Keith’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him down and deepening the kiss.

“I love you, Shiro,” Keith breathed, lips still brushing against his lover’s.

“I love you too, Keith. So much. So, don’t you ever doubt that again. You’re perfect for me.”

“I’m sorry, Shiro… I just… didn’t know how you’d react to this.” He glanced down towards his cock where it lay soft against his abdomen. “I mean… it looks so weird. I’ve always been so ashamed of it.”

“Well, no more of that. Your body is so beautiful, baby, and I’m so happy you finally shared it with me. I want you to feel confident and sexy from now on, ok?”

“I’ll try to.”


	6. Chapter 6

Keith nuzzled in closer against Shiro’s chest, trying to block out the offending light that assaulted his eyelids as the duvet slipped away. He managed to get comfortable again and was just starting to drift back to sleep when an obnoxious ringtone assaulted his ears as well. He groaned loudly, now fully roused from his slumber.

Shiro shifted underneath him and he unwillingly slid from his boyfriend’s warm body onto the cool sheets. He groaned again, even louder.

The cacophony ceased as Shiro answered his phone with a curt “Hello.”

“Commander Holt! It’s so good to hear from you.”

That caught Keith’s attention and he twisted clumsily in the sheets to look over at his boyfriend; and listened intently to the one side of the conversation that he could hear.

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Yes, I heard about that from Matt. Congratulations, Sir.”

His eyes widened considerably.

“Really?”   
  
Whatever the Commander had said must’ve been good, because Shiro was now grinning widely, almost in disbelief - not that anyone would be able to tell from his tone of voice. He managed to keep that calm and collected, and Keith found the mismatch amusing.

“Thank you so much! This is such an honour. I promise you won’t regret it.”

“Yes, I’ll be there.”

As he hung up, all semblance of calm left him and his excitement came out full force.

“Keith! They want me to pilot the Kerberos mission!!”

The cadet bolted up the in the bed to hug his boyfriend tightly.

“I knew you could do it, Shiro! I’m so happy for you.”

His hands grabbed the front of the older man’s t-shirt and tugged on it hard, crashing their lips together. Shiro deepened it and they kissed passionately, the adrenaline of the good news coursing through them both.

After they parted, Shiro didn’t know what to do with his hands. They ran through his hair, tugging at the longer strands; they pulled at his face, contorting it into weird expressions; then they were back in his hair.

“I-I can’t believe this is actually happening… I have to tell Matt!”

He jumped up from the bed, ready to run out the door as he was, before he thought better of it and pulled on the sweatpants he’d discarded earlier.

“MATT!!” he shouted as he yanked the door open forcefully.

There was no immediate answer, so he ran to the common room while Keith followed at a slower pace.

As Shiro reached the end of the corridor, his eyes caught an equally-ecstatic Matt in the opposite doorway. He was panting heavily and his glasses sat askew. He had clearly been running.

“Matt! I just got a call from Commander Holt!”

“And I just got the call from Iverson!”

“Are you…?”

Matt nodded frantically before he could even finish the question.

“And you’re…?”

Shiro nodded too.

“We’re…”

“WE’RE GOING TO KERBEROS!” they shouted in unison, sprinting across the room and into each other’s arms. Shiro hugged Matt tightly and lifted him right off the ground, spinning him round excitedly like they were a couple in an ad for engagement rings.

Shiro’s gaze caught the lonely look on Keith’s face as he leaned against the doorway watching them. He reached out and grabbed his boyfriend by the arm, pulling him into the hug as well and squeezed the both of them tightly; only letting go when they started complaining they couldn’t breathe.

“Shiro! We’re actually going to be at the very edge of the Solar System!!” Matt practically screamed after the other had released him.

“Where no human has ever been before! And we’re going to-” Shiro began excitedly.

“Meet aliens!!!”

“-collect ice samples…”

Keith butt into their conversation. “Aliens aren’t real. If they were, we would’ve found evidence of them by now.”

“Keith, Keith, Keith, don’t be so small-minded.” Matt waved his finger at the boy. “Just think about how huge the universe is – billions upon billions of stars, each with their own system of planets. Just think how many that is. Statistically speaking, there’s no way we could be the only life in the entire universe. I bet there’s whole civilisations out there, just waiting to be discovered!”

“Well even if there _are_ aliens somewhere out there, you’re still not going to find any on Kerberos,” Keith countered.

“Maybe not green men with elongated foreheads, but we might find micro-organisms living in the ice and that’s just as exciting!”

 

……

 

When Shiro and Matt arrived in the commander’s large office, they greeted Iverson who was sitting in a high-backed executive chair on the far side of his big, oak desk; and Commander Samuel Holt who sat in a much more humble chair to their side.

“Take a seat, boys,” Iverson offered, but with his gruff voice, it sounded more like a command.

They both complied, occupying the two identical chairs before the commander’s desk; sitting up straight and proper in an attempt to look professional. Shiro pulled it off with ease, but Matt looked somewhat awkward. They looked to Iverson as he cleared his throat and spoke.

“First of all, congratulations to the both of you for being selected. We had a lot of applications for this mission and it took a long time to sort through them all to reach a verdict. The committee and I have decided that you two are the best candidates for your respective roles.”

His gaze rested on Shiro.

“Shirogane, you will be completing your officer training shortly and with that you’ll earn the title of ‘Senior Officer’. As I’m sure you are aware, this is a very important and very expensive mission and it’s rare that we would send such a recent graduate as our sole pilot. There are many pilots within our ranks who have been working out in the field for years and accumulated many more hours of flight time. However, the committee has decided to take into account the hours you have logged on the simulator as well. Your performance in those missions has consistently been far above the level required, and we are confident in our decision to appoint you the pilot of the Kerberos mission.”

He turned his attention towards Matt.

“Holt, you have one of the most gifted minds the Garrison has seen to date, and your significant contribution to our Scientific Research Department has earned you the position of Junior Science Officer for this mission where you’ll be working alongside, and under the supervision of, your father. The findings of the Kerberos mission have the potential to alter the way we view our universe, and we are trusting the two of you to provide us with an accurate analysis of all samples collected.”

He then addressed the room at large.

“Each of you will already have read the mission brief. Today is about going over the finer details and ensuring you are all fully prepared for every eventuality. I guarantee this won’t be easy. Eight months is a long time to spend in space and it can have…”

_Eight months…_

Shiro had already known that. He’d read the mission brief through ten times the day it’d been released.

But now, it was really starting to sink in. Eight long months that he wouldn’t be able to see Keith; wouldn’t be able to hold him; wouldn’t be able to sit with him outside the old shack and talk about their dreams…

This was the dream they’d talked about. Now it was actually coming true for him. And he _was_ excited. Of course he was, but the thought of Keith being alone for so long dampened the feeling somewhat.

 

……

 

Of all the things Shiro expected to see upon his return to his bedroom, this didn’t even make the list.

Right there in the middle of his bed, Keith lay completely naked; eyes wide and body stiff from being caught with one finger in his ass and the other hand wrapped around his cock.

Shiro felt a stirring in his pants and a lump rising in his throat. He swallowed around it, eyes equally wide and fixated on his boyfriend’s naked form.

But as quickly as the beautiful sight had appeared, it vanished in a flurry of sheets as Keith rushed to cover himself on instinct; involuntarily letting out a sharp cry that snapped Shiro out of his stupor.

“KEITH! Are you ok!?” He ran to the beside.

“I’m fine, Shiro,” the cadet replied meekly, face hidden by the mass of sheets on top of him. “It’s just…when I move I feel like I’m gonna _die_.”

“Are you in pain!?” Shiro demanded.

“No, Shiro. It’s not _pain_ ,” he assured. “It just feels so… _intense_. It’s kinda scary.”

The man breathed a sigh of relief.

“That’s normal for your first time, baby. It always feels a bit weird to begin with, but I promise it feels better after you get used to it.”

He turned away and started heading for the door.

“I’ll give you some privacy, but you can call if you need me. Oh and, if you’re trying for a prostate orgasm, you’d better stop touching your dick.”

“Shiro…”

He looked round at the sound of his name and saw the top half of Keith’s face appear over the edge of the sheet. “You know more about this than I do. Could you…finger me?”

“If you want me to, baby. But personally… I think you should do this yourself. From everything you told me about how ashamed you’ve always been to touch yourself, I think you owe it yourself to have this experience on your own.”

“I guess you’re right… Could you at least stay with me?… Please?”

“Of course.”

Shiro smiled warmly and walked back to the bed where he settled against the pillows, in the gap between his boyfriend and the headboard. At some point, Keith had removed his finger from himself and he used both hands to shuffle up the bed until his head rested against Shiro’s chest; sheets still draped across his midsection. The man’s arms wrapped around his shoulders and hugged him close.

“Try to relax, baby. It’ll be a lot easier if you aren’t so tense.”

Keith took a deep breath and attempted to relax his body as his lubricated finger returned to his rim. Slowly, he pushed his way inside again. It went in a little easier than it had the first time but that intense feeling returned, and he couldn’t hold back the high-pitched whine that rose from his throat.

Shiro’s hands roamed across his shoulders and chest, stroking him soothingly, and he planted kisses on the top of Keith’s head and over his cheek.

The cadet’s finger was now halfway in. This was as far as he’d gotten earlier before Shiro interrupted him. This time, he kept going and his body started to tense up again at the deeper penetration; more involuntary whimpers escaping him.

“You’re doing so well, Keith~” Shiro praised, rubbing his shoulders. “Remember you can stop at any point. You don’t have to go all the way today.”

Keith knew that; but hearing that praise from his boyfriend made him want to go further. He kept pressing his finger in until it sank all the way inside. He breathed again deeply and it came out shaky on the exhale.

“How does it feel, baby?” his boyfriend asked gently.

“It’s like… this really strong feeling - so overwhelming I can’t tell if I like it or I hate it. Is that normal?”

Shiro chuckled. “Yeah, it is. If you think you’re ready, you could try moving your finger a bit.”

Keith withdrew the digit slightly, just by the tiniest fraction of an inch. The feeling of it dragging against his insides was strange but he slowly pushed it back in again and repeated the movement. His body gradually adjusted to the sensation and it began to feel different; _good_.

“Shiro~” he moaned quietly as he slowly pumped his finger in and out. “Oh, Shiro~”

The man’s hot breath was in his ear. “Does it feel good, baby?” he whispered seductively. It made Keith moan.

“Yeah~ It feels so good~”

Shiro planted another kiss on his cheek.

“It can feel even better, Keith~ Just curl your finger upwards~”

Keith did as his boyfriend instructed and immediately let out a choked cry as he saw stars.

“Fuck!”

He pressed upwards again.

“Fuck! _Fuck_! Oh god, Shiro!”

He started thrusting his finger in and out again, aiming for that exact spot, and even more swears spilled from his lips. He became entranced by the sensation. It was even more intense than what he’d been feeling before, but this time it was unmistakably good.

His dick twitched each time he hit his prostate and precum was leaking steadily down his lavender shaft that was aching to be stroked. He ignored it. He really wanted to try and have a prostate orgasm after seeing how good it was when Shiro had one.

Shiro’s mouth was suddenly on his neck, sucking on the skin and grazing his teeth across it, coaxing even more moans out of the younger man.

“Fuck, baby, I wish I could see you.”

Persuaded by the lust in his boyfriend’s voice, Keith kicked one leg out; forcing the mess of sheets off him and drew both knees up towards his chest so that Shiro could have a better view.

The action increased the pressure on his prostate and he cried out even louder. He pumped his finger faster as he felt that coil deep in his core tighten. He wanted to cum so badly.

His arm shot up, hand grabbing Shiro by the back of his head and pulling him down into a desperate, needy kiss. He forced his tongue into the other’s mouth and Shiro happily obliged.

Keith whimpered into the kiss. The pressure inside him was building rapidly and he felt like he was about to cum. His breathlessness from the kissing only intensified the feeling, but he had to pull away as his lungs begged for air.

Panting loudly, he fucked himself harder, chasing desperately after that sweet release; that blissful feeling he’d seen painted across his boyfriend’s face. He was so close.

Suddenly, he felt something new – an intense wave of euphoria that washed over him, like warmth shooting through every nerve in his entire body. He threw his head back as his body arched upwards. He couldn’t help it – he screamed at the force of his orgasm and desperately clawed at the back of Shiro’s neck as his legs shook violently.

He willed his hand to keep going and kept up the stimulation on his throbbing prostate until the final ripples of pleasure died away; and he collapsed backwards onto his boyfriend’s chest, thoroughly exhausted and drenched in sweat.

“H-holy fuck…”

Shiro’s fingers ran through Keith’s hair soothingly and he brushed the damp, matted strands from his lover’s face. He could tell that Keith was utterly out of breath from the way he was panting. The cadet’s whole body felt hot and his sweat made the older man’s shirt stick to his back.

Shiro grabbed the edge of the nearest sheet and pulled it up over them, tucking it in around Keith’s shoulders.

“I’m not falling asleep,” the Keith whispered, possibly with a hint of laughter but it was hard to tell from his still-slightly-laboured breathing. “I could feel your dick jabbing me in the back that whole time. Don’t think I’m not gonna do something about it.”

He crawled down the bed and stopped at Shiro’s side, level with his crotch; and started to unbutton his boyfriend’s pants. Tired though he felt, excitement was rising within him at the thought of having that big, thick cock in his mouth again. It felt like it had been so long.

As he freed it, he stroked up and down the length teasingly. Shiro moaned low in his throat at the much-needed attention but still he was desperate for more.

Keith’s hand wrapped around him and squeezed firmly, making him gasp. Then he slowly moved his hand up and down, pulling Shiro’s foreskin up over the head and uncovering it again.

He licked his lips at the sight of the first pearly drops of precum that were forming at the slit before his movements spread them across the head, making it glisten. Arousal was bubbling deep within him again.

“Keith~”

He started to twist his wrist, adding even more stimulation to every stroke, but it was still so agonisingly slow. Shiro bucked his hips, trying desperately to increase the friction.

“Keith, please~” he whined.

Keith’s hands stilled completely. He was equally eager to continue but he managed to hold back a little longer. He wanted to have some fun first.

“Please what, Shiro?” he asked in faux innocence.

“Please… I need it.” He bucked his hips again.

“Need what, baby?”

The teasing made Shiro even harder.

“I need your mouth. Get down there and suck my cock already.”

“Mmm baby, you’re so demanding~”

Keith obliged him though, leaning down and lapping at the precum he’d been watching hungrily until now. Shiro moaned under his touch and started rolling his hips, rubbing the tip of his cock against his boyfriend’s tongue.

The cadet worked his tongue up and down the underside of the other’s cock, getting it nice and slick and ready for his mouth. By the time he was done, saliva was running down in it small rivulets, collecting together in a tiny pool between his balls.

Content with that, he took the cock into his mouth; letting out a satisfied moan at the feeling of being so full. The sides of his mouth were already beginning to feel the stretch, and he loved it.

He bobbed his head, tongue pressing hard against his boyfriend’s frenulum every time he passed over it. Shiro’s moans came out more like an animalistic growl that went straight to Keith’s nether regions. He pulled back, releasing the cock with a wet pop.

“I love your cock, Shiro! It’s so big!” he moaned lustily, planting sloppy kiss up the side of it. “I’m gonna make it feel so good!”

Keith had just closed his mouth around the tip again when he felt a hand on ass, squeezing his cheek, and then wrapping around his thigh to give it a tug.

“Come up here, baby. Let me make you feel good too.”

The arousal in him grew at the suggestion and he allowed his boyfriend’s strong hands to guide him into position – on his hands and knees with his ass hovering above Shiro’s face.

He felt a little exposed like this, but the embarrassment heightened every sensation as his boyfriend’s hands roamed up and down his thighs and kneaded at his cheeks, making pre leak out against Shiro’s chin.

He felt something swipe across his butthole and realised with a gasp that it was a tongue. He was still extra sensitive from fingering himself so the stimulation made him whimper.

Shiro’s tongue didn’t linger there long – just a few teasing licks before it ran slowly down his perineum and warm lips closed around one of his lilac balls, pulling it into his mouth and sucking on it lightly.

“Shiro~”

The man pulled back, robbing Keith of all stimulation and making him whine at the loss.

“Don’t forget about me, baby,” Shiro reminded him. “Aren’t you the one who said you were gonna do something about it?”

Keith immediately wrapped his mouth around his boyfriend’s cock again, leaning down further and taking half of it on the first go.

“Good boy, Keith,” Shiro praised, rubbing Keith’s ass and dipping his head lower to wrap his own lips around his boyfriend’s cock. He felt those now-familiar bands rippling inside his mouth and started working his tongue back and forth in one of the grooves. He felt it, more than heard it, when Keith moaned around his dick.

The jolts of pleasure coursing through the cadet from the stimulation made him even hornier. He bobbed his head eagerly, sucking hard on his boyfriend’s cock and not even caring about the obscene slurping noises his mouth was making.

The tip of his own cock hit the back of Shiro’s throat and he cried out in pleasure. Desperate for that tight warmth around him again, he unwittingly bucked his hips downward; forcing his cock into his boyfriend’s throat and making him gag.

As soon as he realised what he had done, he pulled back.

“Sorry! I’m sorry, Shiro! I just got carried away…”

“Baby, it’s ok,” his boyfriend assured him. “Actually, it kinda turns me on that you’re so desperate for me.”

“It does?”

“Mhmm. Do it, baby. I can take it.”

Keith was apprehensive. He didn’t want to hurt Shiro, but the thought of just _taking_ his mouth, using it as his own personal sex toy - it got him more than a little hot under the collar. He swallowed hard.

This time, he was careful as he lowered his hips towards his boyfriend’s face and paused as he felt his cock reach the back of his throat. There was no resistance and he slowly pushed forwards. The man’s tongue was still and the muscle surrounding the opening was relaxed and pliant.

Shiro kept his throat relaxed as he felt his boyfriend’s cock pressing deeper into him; first the head, and then the ridges, one by one. He could feel them rippling in pleasure and he heard a soft moan from somewhere near his own crotch. His hands settled on Keith’s hips, holding them gently but ready to take control if he got too feisty.

He felt the first, shallow thrust of his boyfriend’s hips, but it was soon followed by deeper ones. He let Keith find a rhythm and worked his own breathing around that.

He felt warm lips around his cock again as Keith finally regained the brainpower to continue his original task. The boy sucked on it happily, moaning around it, and took it a little deeper with every bob of his head.

The angle impeded him. He couldn’t take as much as usual, and he couldn’t get his throat to open up so he closed his hands around the rest of his boyfriend’s cock, pumping up and down, in sync with his mouth.

His hips started to buck faster of their own accord. He was desperate to cum. In fact, he could’ve right then, but he held it back.

He kept going until the warm, salty taste of Shiro’s cum filled his mouth and then he let go as well, hips never stilling as he rode out his orgasm. The first two loads of cum were lost down his boyfriend’s throat, but the third came out just as his hips pulled back, filling the man’s mouth with it’s warm, sweet flavour.

Keith mustered up the strength to lift himself off Shiro and flopped down at his side, upside-down on the bed but too thoroughly spent to care.

 

……

 

When Keith woke up, he felt the warmth of his boyfriend nearby and started nuzzling closer to it but was abruptly halted as his forehead smacked into something hard. He opened his eyes to glare at the offending object and saw that is was the edge of Shiro’s laptop.

His sleepy gaze flicked up to the screen and saw a lot of pink, and a lot of dildos.

“…what’re you doing?”

“Oh, you’re awake.” Shiro smiled down at him, not a hint of embarrassment on his face at being caught doing… whatever it was he was doing. “I’m replenishing my stocks since I found this.” He lifted up his small bottle of lube which was almost empty.

Keith’s cheeks turned red.

“Sorry. I don’t have any of my own so I borrowed it…”

“Yeah, but it was almost full this morning. What did you do with it all? Drink it?”

“No! I… I was scared it was gonna hurt so I may have gone a bit overboard…”

Shiro planted a kiss on top of his head.

“It’s ok, baby. I can buy more. And I’ll get you some too.”

“Thanks, Shiro.”

“Do you want anything else?” the man offered.

“Like what?”

“Any toys?”

Keith peered back at the screen and made a face at the assortment of scarily-huge dildos.

“Not _these_ ones. We can get you something small. There’re loads of beginner toys on here.”

“Don’t be wasting your money on me, Shiro.”

“It’s not a waste if you enjoy it,” Shiro assured him. “Come sit up beside me and we’ll have a look.”

Keith wriggled out of the duvet and sat upright, resting his chin on his boyfriend’s shoulder as he watched the cursor click on ‘beginner anal toys’. A webpage full of less-intimidating dildos and butt plugs appeared – definitely much more Keith’s speed, though he couldn’t help but feel his cheeks heat up as he tried to imagine any of those strange objects going inside himself.

“What’s that one?” the cadet asked, pointing at a weird-looking item on the screen.

“You like the look of it? It’s a prostate massager, and quite a good one too.”

After browsing through the entirety of that category, and reading a lot of specs and reviews, they settled on a prostate massager as well as a small beginner dildo. Shiro added them to his basket along with the a few bottles of his usual water-based lubricant. Everything was going so well… until he clicked the ‘checkout’ button and an ad popped up.

It was an advertisement for one of the site’s slightly more extreme dildos. It was big; it was ribbed; and it was purple. It wasn’t entirely dissimilar to Keith’s own cock, and an uncomfortable knot appeared in his stomach at the sight of it.

The words ‘Alien Dildo’ in large font beside it only added to the cadet’s unease and he had to look away.

Shiro noticed and closed the lid of the laptop immediately, setting it to the side, and turned his attention back to his boyfriend.

“Keith?”

His hands cupped the boy’s cheeks and caressed them.

“Keith, are you ok?”

He didn’t reply at first. He just turned his face away, willing the developing tears to crawl back up into his tear glands. He didn’t want to cry over something so stupid.

“I’m sorry for getting like this…” he apologised.

“No, Keith. It’s not your fault. You’ve been feeling this way for a long time. I know it’s not all going to just disappear overnight because of me. It’ll take time.”

“How can you always be so understanding? Doesn’t it get exhausting?”

“Not when it’s about you. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“Not really… I guess you could just… hold me?”

“I’ll do you one better.” Shiro stood from the bed and grabbed the edge of the duvet, wrapping it over the top of his boyfriend.

“Not this stupid thing again.” The cadet couldn’t help the slight smile that tugged at the corners of his lips as the other half of the duvet was pulled tightly around him.

“Yes! I’m making an adorable little Keith burrito,” Shiro said as he climbed back onto the bed and hugged his boyfriend to his chest.

“If you call me a burrito again, I’m gonna hit you,” Keith threatened but there was no malice in it.

“How?” Shiro teased. “Your arms are trapped. What’re you gonna do? Wriggle angrily in my lap?”

“I’ll headbutt you in the dick.”

Shiro just laughed and, as it died away, they both drifted into a comfortable silence and Keith just relaxed inside the stupid, warm, protective cocoon his boyfriend had constructed for him.

“Shiro?” the cadet said quietly.

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Keith. So much.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Now approaching Kármán line. Prepare for re-entry,” Shiro announced, eyes trained on the monitor in front of him.

For once, he was actually strapped into a seat further back in the craft, so Keith could not see him. That was ok. What wasn’t ok was their current velocity. At this rate, they were going to be in trouble.

“Fire reverse thrusters!” Keith barked.

A moment went by and they hadn’t even begun to decelerate.

“MATT!”

“Sorry, Keith. They’re not responding. I think there’s been a malfunction,” Matt explained, shouting a little to be heard from his seat at the rear of the cabin.

“WELL, FIX THEM NOW!”

“ _Keith!”_ Shiro scolded. “You can’t scream at your crew.”

Keith groaned in frustration and squeezed the handles of the controls.

“Matt, could you _please_ fix them. And fast. We’re running out of time.”

Another moment passed where nothing happened.

“ _Matt_ ,” he grunted.

“Two of the thrusters are out of alignment. I can’t readjust them from here. I think I can get the other two up and running though.”

“Well, do it then.”

The low, rumbling drone of the thrusters followed Keith’s command and he looked back at his monitor, grimacing as he noticed they were just about to enter the upper atmosphere and their speed was still too high.

“Guys, we’re still coming in too fast.”

“Keith’s right,” Matt agreed. “We’re not going to be able to decelerate enough to make a safe landing. There just isn’t enough time.”

Shiro looked to the pilot. “What’re your orders, Keith?”

The cadet pulled hard on the yoke, taking them off course. He had a plan.

“ _Keith_ ,” Shiro chided. “What’re you doing?”

“Buying us more time,” he replied bluntly.

“Keith, you need to communicate with your team. We don’t have that stuff on auto this time, and we aren’t mind-readers.”

“ _Fine_. I’m aerobraking. Matt… I need you to keep the main thrusters going. We’re just gonna skim the upper atmosphere and circle back.”

“And?” Shiro prodded.

“ _And_ … you could plot us an elliptical orbit… so we can bleed off enough velocity before re-entry...”

“Generating path now. But Keith, you’re gonna need to sound more confident than that in your test. You need to inspire confidence in your team.”

“I’m trying, Shiro. It’s just… I’m not good at this leadership stuff. Not like you are...”

“Well, that’s why we’re working on it.”

They were running out of time though. Well, Keith was. His test was in less than an hour.

He had no idea yet who his crew members were going to be – not that that really made any difference. He didn’t know any of his classmates well enough to feel comfortable giving them orders.

His commands to them would always come out as either a meek suggestion that inspired no confidence in him as a leader or, when he was stressed enough, as an aggressive demand that made the others recoil in fear.

There was some mystical, perfect balance between those two but so far, Keith had not found it. He gripped the handles tighter; anger at his inadequacy rising.

“Keith, are you ok?” Shiro asked gently.

“I’m fine,” he replied through gritted teeth.

“Are you sure? ‘Cause you keep going off course. I’ve had to recalculate our orbit three times already.”

“Sorry, Shiro. I’ll keep us steady from now on.”

Keith tried his best to focus on the mission at hand, concentrating on following the trajectory Shiro had mapped out for him, and his mind started to ease.

Flying in the simulator was when he felt most alive; when everything else would just fade away. It was just him and the craft, and sometimes a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He loved that; just getting lost in it…

He shook himself. He couldn’t do that this time, because he wasn’t alone. He had a full crew there and it was distracting to have to keep tabs on all their actions; to have to consult with them on decisions that should be obvious and in Keith’s mind required no explanation.

To be fair, he _had_ made some progress with it over the past week, although it wasn’t enough of an improvement for him to feel any sense of pride in it.

He’d been training solely with Shiro and Matt as his stand-in crew and Keith suspected they’d both been enjoying it a bit too much. They were deliberately operating at a first-year cadet level; making frequent errors and questioning his decisions constantly.

If he were being honest, they were perfectly simulating a training exercise with his classmates. Most of them were equally as annoying and incompetent. Still, he didn’t miss the hint of amusement in their voices as they alerted him to yet another problem.

“Nearing second approach,” Shiro announced. “What’s our velocity?”

“Still a bit high, but only just outside the acceptable range,” Keith replied.

“How do you want to proceed?”

“I vote we circle back,” Matt suggested. “Make one more orbit; bring our speed down further. That’s the safest option.”

“No,” Shiro argued. “I say we should re-enter now. Any more time spent in space with faulty thrusters increases our chances of getting stranded out here… Keith, what do you think?”

The cadet thought on it. His initial instinct was to trust Shiro’s words, but he’d been caught out on that in the past – sometimes, the man was just playing devil’s advocate.

His crew had given him the options; now it was up to him as team leader to choose the right one. The problem was, he didn’t know which one that was. And the more he tried to think on it, the harder it seemed to be to make a choice.

“Keith, we need a judgement call. What’s it gonna be?” Shiro pressed.

“I DON’T KNOW!”

“Keith, calm down. Remember, patience-”

“Yields focus, I _know!_ WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR PATIENCE!”

The pressure around the front of the ship spiked, and glowing bands of light flickered across the windscreen. It was too late. They’d already begun re-entry.

Matt sighed defeatedly. “Looks like we’re going with re-entry then. Disengaging main thrusters.”

Keith took a deep breath, trying to calm himself enough to complete the rest of the mission. He needed to take control again.

“Shiro! Map our trajectory. I need to know where we’re coming down.”

Suddenly the entire craft started spinning, spiralling uncontrollably through its descent.

“WHAT’S GOING ON?” he screamed.

“It’s one of the maneuvering thrusters! I can’t shut it off!” Matt shrieked in response.

“I can’t navigate when we’re spiralling like this. It’s too unpredictable. We could end up anywhere.”

Shiro’s words made Keith’s stress levels rocket sky-high. He struggled to clear his mind enough to think of a possible way out. But the harder he tried to empty it, the fuller it got.

He needed something fast. They were running out of sky.

“Keith! We need a game plan!” Shiro cried urgently.

The cadet’s mind was racing, spinning as much as their craft. Everything was going too fast. He couldn’t focus. His thoughts were a jumbled mess; a swirl of half-formed plans and nothing more.

Their view disappeared as they crashed into the ground.

‘SIMULATION FAILED’

Keith smashed his fists down on the control panel, voicing his frustration with a loud growl through clenched teeth.

“Keith, calm down.”

He felt Shiro’s hand on his shoulder and the he hung his head in shame.

“I failed, Shiro. I _failed_.”

“There’s no shame in failing,” the man said gently. “You can’t expect to be a perfect pilot yet – you’re only just beginning.”

“First year is practically over! And I can _fly_ , I just can’t _lead_ … You’re lucky. You handle both so easily.”

“I didn’t always,” Shiro confided. “I struggled a lot with it in the beginning too. But I promise it’ll get easier… and one day, it’ll just feel natural.”

“‘ _One day’_? My test is in thirty minutes!”

“You’ll be fine, baby. Iverson’s not gonna put you through anything too high level yet… at least, not when it’s for an exam.”

Matt chimed in, unbuckling himself from his seat. “Yeah, he’s not _that_ much of a dick. It’ll totally be something way easier than this one. This was like a worst case scenario. You’ll be fine.”

The hand on Keith’s shoulder gave a reassuring squeeze.

“We’ll see you after it’s over, ok?”

“You’re leaving already?”

“We have to,” Shiro explained. “It’s almost time for our pre-mission medicals. You keep practising though.”

“By myself?” His looked up at his boyfriend pleadingly.

“I’m sorry, Keith, but we can’t be late. I’ll text you when we get out, ok?”

 

……

 

Shiro hated to leave Keith in that state, but he had no choice. This medical test was extremely important, and the nurses would not be impressed with him being late.

Perhaps he’d made a mistake choosing that simulation for his boyfriend right before a test. The recent failure was sure to mess with his concentration, and that was the exact opposite of what he’d been going for.

Although the complications varied on each run-through, he’d assumed they all be issues that Keith would’ve been able to handle. The plan was to send him off to his exam, filled with confidence and pride from passing a more advanced mission.

But it had back-fired. The mechanical issues had all been pretty standard for that level, but he’d overestimated Keith’s ability to handle them while also struggling with the stress of being in charge.

He sighed. There was nothing he could do now though, but hope.  
  
……

 

As they arrived at the on-campus health clinic, he and Matt were almost immediately ushered into separate rooms.

A short, blonde nurse was awaiting Shiro and she flashed him a bright smile - either a genuine one or a convincing impression of one - before staring down at her clipboard, pen poised and ready to scribble down notes.

“Full name, please?”

“Takashi Shirogane.”

“And your date of birth?”

“February 29th.”

“Ok, great. If you follow me over here, we’ll start with your height and weight.”

Shiro knew the drill by now. He’d been to these medical tests countless times before.

He positioned himself in front of the graduated scale on the far wall and stood a little straighter. The nurse lowered the marker until it rested against the top of his head and she stood on the tips of her toes to read the number; then scribbled it down onto her clipboard.

“And if you could step onto the scales, please,” she directed and Shiro complied.

“Mhmm,” she hummed, recording that result too.

“Please take a seat.”

He sat himself down in the indicated chair and the nurse slipped the cuff of the sphygmomanometer around his bicep and took a reading of his blood pressure, before opening the valve, releasing the air and deflating the cuff.

The entire series of tests was just as monotonous, the nurse making generic small talk as she recorded his resting heart rate; extracted several vials of his blood for various necessary tests; and asked him to give a urine sample.

Shiro was thankful that last one always came at the end. He didn’t enjoy trying to make polite conversation with a woman he’d just handed his own piss to in a container.

The nurse thanked him for his time and directed him to a room down the corridor for his eye exam.

This was another boring one in his opinion, but also very important – especially for a pilot.

 

……

 

The optometrist was a short, balding man with barely a sense of humour. His façade of genuine human emotion was as thin as the layer of wispy, silver hairs he’d combed across his crown. He greeted Shiro dryly and told him to sit.

 

The pilot smiled politely as always and sat down on the leather, padded seat. The other man moved closer; holding a black, plastic occluder which he placed in front of Shiro’s left eye, blocking that half of his vision, and instructing him to read down the chart.

Shiro did as he was told, reading each letter aloud. With how many times he had done this before, he was pretty sure he new the order by heart, but he tried to ignore that. This was a vision test, not a memory one.

He sat patiently while the optometrist placed those silly-looking, plastic trial frames on his face; while a bright light was intermittently shone into his eyes; and while lenses of various strengths were inserted into the frames and adjusted slightly in accordance with each of Shiro’s responses until the man came to the very same conclusion his eye doctors always did – that he had perfect eyesight.

Shiro expected this going in - he’d never had any issues, but it was always good to have confirmation.

He was then ushered into the adjoining room for a visual field test – a test which involved putting on an eye patch and sticking his face in, what was essentially, a big white bowl. How the optometrist managed to look so stern and serious when presented with ‘Long John Shirogane’, Shiro did not know.

He unwittingly cracked a smile as he recalled his first Garrison-mandated visual field test – when Matt had accompanied him and come up with that terrible pun. The optometrist hadn’t laughed then either.

By the end of it all, Shiro could still see the lights dancing across his vision and he blinked in an attempt to rid himself of them as he stepped out of the darkened room and into the bright light of the hallway. He lingered in that corridor, arms folded across his chest and shoulder blades pressing into the wall, as he waited for Matt to be finished as well.

He waited, and he waited, and he waited some more.

 

Eventually, so much time had passed that he started to worry and sent his friend a text.

Shiro: _Everything alright, Matt?_

Matt: _Yeah, I just felt a bit faint after the blood test. I’m with the eye doctor now. He’s assessing me for laser eye surgery! The Garrison’s gonna cover the cost if I’m eligible!_

Shiro: _That’s amazing, Matt! How much longer are you gonna be though? I said I’d meet Keith._

Matt: _Probably a while. You go ahead. I’ll catch up with you later._

 

……

 

Night had fallen across the desert where Shiro and Keith sat side-by-side in their usual spot on the veranda.

“I’m proud of you, Keith.” The older man slipped an arm around his boyfriend’s waist, pulling him flush against his side.

“Why? Scraping a pass isn’t a good thing.”

“It is when it’s something you’ve been struggling with. You always seem to forget you’re still only a first-year. You’re training has only begun. The Garrison aren’t expecting you to be a perfectly-polished pilot yet, so neither should you. You need to give yourself time to get there.”

“I suppose…”

“You’re an amazing pilot, Keith. And one day, you’re gonna fly circles around me. I just know it!”

Keith snorted.

“I’m serious. Today was my fault –  I pushed you too hard. But I know you have it in you. You showed more skill behind the controls than I did at the start…Hey, do you remember that day near the beginning of the year when I came to watch your class in the simulator?”

“I remember. That was the first time we met…” A nostalgic smile crept onto the cadet’s face. “You approached me at the end of class to ‘congratulate me on my performance’. I thought it was pretty weird that you didn’t say that to anyone else.”

“Well, yours was the one that stood out to me the most. You really impressed me that day. Plus, I thought you were really cute so I had to say something.” Shiro flashed him a cheesy grin.

Keith remembered how fast his heart had been beating that day; how flustered he’d gotten at such an innocent interaction. He blushed again at the memory and quickly hid his face against his boyfriend’s neck.

“All I did was tell you ‘good work’ and you turned even redder than you did just now. It was really adorable~”

Keith buried his face deeper, wondering if the other would be able to feel the heat from his cheeks. “That didn’t happen.”

“Yes, it did~ Makes me wonder if you had a crush on me even before that day…”

That was actually true, but Shiro didn’t need to know that though.

“You talk some amount of garbage, Shiro,” he mumbled against the man’s neck.

Shiro laughed a little and kissed the top of his head.

They settled into a comfortable silence and just gazed up at the night sky. The stars were so beautiful – Keith had always thought so. That was one of the reasons he had been so drawn to the Garrison’s space program – so that one day, he could be among them.

 

Before he joined the school, he hadn’t known the stars by name, or been able to pick out many of the constellations, but that had changed once he’d met Shiro.

Right from the early days of their friendship, the man had taken him up onto the roof of the undergrad barracks at night to show him the view. He’d pointed out a lot of different constellations, many of which Keith had never even heard of, and some of which he had now forgotten. He recalled most of them though. Right now, he could spy Ursa Major, and Cassiopeia, and… yes, there was Orion too. He recognised it from the three stars of his belt…

“I’m gonna miss this…” Shiro said softly, breaking their silence and smiling wistfully.

“You’re not leaving yet, Shiro,” Keith reminded him.

“I know… but this could be one of the last times we sit out here together.” The melancholy in the man’s voice was almost tangible.

“Yeah, I guess… but it’s not like it won’t still be here when you get back.”

“And what about you? Will you still be here?”

Keith shot his boyfriend a puzzled look.

“Of course. Where else am I gonna go? The Garrison is all I have.”

“That’s not what I meant, Keith. I mean… will you still be here waiting for me?”

The question surprised Keith. It wasn’t one he ever thought he’d be asked. He’d always assumed that one day Shiro would go on a long mission and they’d either break up before he left, or he’d let Shiro forget about him while he was away. Of course, that was all before Keith had revealed his secret to Shiro; back when he still thought it would be a deal-breaker.

If he was being honest, he hadn’t given much thought to his future with Shiro and what would happen after he came back because, until a few weeks ago, he hadn’t known there was going to be a future.

But now there was, or at least hope for one. And he was going to cling to that hope over the next eight months; and let it comfort him until Shiro was finally back in his arms again.

 

“Keith?”

“I can’t believe you’re actually worrying about that. Of course I’ll wait!”

“It’s just… eight months is a long time. We’ll be completely apart and it’s not like I can even call you… I’d understand if you wanted to find someone else…”

“Don’t be stupid,” Keith chastised him. “You think I’d move on ‘cause I can’t keep it in my pants for few months? Besides… who else would have me?” The cadet had meant that as a joke, but his gaze turned solemn as it drifted to his crotch.

“Keith…” Shiro’s hand came to rest on his cheek, cupping it lightly. “You’re beautiful and anyone would be lucky to have you. Don’t wait for me just because you think I’m the only one who’ll accept you.”

Keith leaned into the touch. “You know that’s not the reason. I love you, Shiro…” He pulled away slightly, running his fingers through his hair. “And I know it’ll be lonely sometimes. I’m gonna miss you like hell, but… that’s the life I want, Shiro – the one where we go and live our dreams, but we always come back to each other… so yeah, I’ll be there when you get back… if you want me to…”

Shiro smiled.

“Nothing would make me happier than coming back to you.”

“I hope you know, I’m not gonna be waiting for you with flowers when you land.”

“I don’t care. As long as you’re there.”

Shiro’s hand guided him closer, connecting their lips and kissing him softly. Keith responded in kind, taken by the moment and the feeling of familiar lips caressing his own.

He lingered close in the aftermath, eyes half-lidded and lips parted as shaky breaths settled across his lover’s face. His nose nudged gently against the other’s and he began losing himself in the intimacy and the soft scent that flooded his senses.

Captivating, sweet, reminiscent of home; it washed over him, and he allowed himself to be overcome by it.

“Shiro…” he breathed, barely more than a whisper. “I wanna have sex with you.”

The man’s breath hitched, that tight feeling of arousal blossoming deep within him.

“Keith~” He captured the boy’s lips again, needier. He could feel the heat building in the narrow space between them despite the cool night air, and his hand shifted to his boyfriend’s thigh, giving it a light squeeze.

“I’m ready, Shiro. I want to go all the way~”

Shiro’s hand moved higher, fingertips following the curve of his lover’s hip bone, dragging across the narrow patch of exposed skin, and dipping beneath the waistband to caress more sensitive areas.

“I’m not ready for some things!” Keith added quickly. “I mean… I haven’t had the toys that long and I’ve been busy preparing for that test and I still have to practise with them and-”

He was shushed by Shiro’s finger on his lips.

“You’re babbling. I know you’re not ready to take my cock yet. That can wait a while.”

“So, you’re ok with…”

“Bottoming? Let me tell you something, Keith. The amount of times I’ve fantasised about this...” He leaned closer, breath hot against his boyfriend’s ear as his tone morphed into something so seductive it made Keith quiver. “All those mornings I’ve spent in the shower; all hot and bothered thinking about you~”

His teeth caught the earlobe, giving it a light tug.

“One hand pressed against the glass and the other round my cock; desperately thrusting back onto that dildo and calling out your name; fucking myself on it ‘til I can’t think of anything else…”

Keith gulped. He’d never heard his boyfriend talk so dirty before.

“Even after you saw me?”

Shiro’s hand slipped into the front of his pants, lightly stroking Keith through the fabric of his boxers. “Mhmm~ Your cock is so gorgeous, baby. I can’t wait to have you inside me~”

 

It took a moment for the cadet to process it all. The image of Shiro masturbating in the shower was vivid in his mind; mindlessly fucking himself on what he imagined to be Keith’s cock; breathless pants mixing with the steam, and desperate moans of his name becoming lost in the sound of the water cascading down around him.

Keith was rock-hard at the thought of it.

All that, even after Shiro had seen what he looked like… Not only did he _accept_ it, he actually _wanted_ it as well. And Keith definitely wanted to give it to him too.

“Inside. Now.”

 

 

……

 

As the door slammed shut behind them, Shiro made the first move, capturing his boyfriend’s lips in a passionate kiss. One hand snaked into Keith’s soft hair and the other slipped beneath his t-shirt to caress the small of his back. The boy deepened the kiss in response, wrapping his arms around the older man’s neck to pull him closer.

Lips still locked in passion, Shiro’s hands travelled downwards, closing around his lover just beneath his soft cheeks and lifting him; forcing his legs to spread a little.

Keith gasped into the kiss as he felt his feet leave the floor but did not resist. He clung tighter and wrapped his legs around his boyfriend’s waist. His mouth moved to the Shiro’s neck, where he began to kiss, and suck, and nip at the skin with his teeth.

“Mmm~ Keith~” the man purred into his ear.

Keith hadn’t even been aware they’d moved until suddenly his backside made contact with the sofa cushions, sinking into them as the rusty, old springs protested loudly. Strong hands pushed his shoulders down and warm lips closed around the side of his neck.

Shiro grasped the hem of his boyfriend’s t-shirt and tugged it up over his head before returning his attention to Keith’s neck and making him whimper as teeth grazed the soft flesh. He drew it into his mouth.

“Shiro!” the boy cried out, hips jerking up towards his boyfriend’s body.

Stronger hips grinded down into his. He could feel his lover’s hardness rutting against his own, the few layers of cloth separating them adding glorious friction that somehow only made him crave more.

Soft lips followed the delicate shape of his collarbone, pressing lightly against the pale skin; transforming into hungry, open-mouthed kisses as they moved downwards, exploring the smooth expanse of bare skin beneath them.

An eager tongue encircled his navel, before dipping into it, and then slowly traced its way lower, stopping only when it met with denim.

Keith gasped as the button popped free and strong hands wedged themselves beneath him, gripping the material and giving it a rough tug. His jeans came off in one fluid motion and the warm hands settled on his thighs, raising one up to decorate the underside with soft kisses and nips.

A slight whimper passed his lips as his lover’s mouth drew closer to that one place he wanted it the most. Teeth grazed the sensitive skin, so close. His hips arched up instinctively.

Shiro’s gaze flicked up to his lover’s face – the boy’s cheeks were flushed, his expression dazed; but half-lidded eyes locked with his, desire burning deep within them.

Keith could only stare as fingers hooked around the soft fabric of his boxers and slowly pulled them down, revealing his lavender-toned cock, throbbing in want and already glistening with precum.

Shiro leaned in close, taking in his lover’s scent; the intoxicating aroma filling his mind as well as his senses.

His tongue was out, laving attention on the head and lapping up the sweet-tasting beads of pre. Every drop devoured, he moved lower; the tip of his tongue slipping into the groove between two purple ridges.

He traced it, back and forth, while pleasured moans spilled somewhere above him and shaking hands curled into his hair.

Never stopping his ministrations, his eyes met his lover’s again. Desperation was evident across the boy’s features – eyes glazed over and shining with need; lush lips parted, the lower one faintly red from biting down on it; cheeks redder still; and the warm tinge of sex flush extending across the otherwise pale expanse of his chest.

His hands roamed through Shiro’s hair; down his neck - sending shivers up the man’s spine - and closed tightly around his broad shoulders.

Suddenly, Shiro was shoved backwards, pushed roughly against the back of the couch as desperate hands pulled at his shirt. A mouth was on his, needy and insistent.

A whimper escaped him, making his lips part and a hot tongue met with his, pressing into him; coaxing even more moans from him as he felt the last of his buttons coming free.

His skin was hot, but those hands were hotter. They appeared on his sides and felt their way higher, making him bite his lip as they grazed past hardened nipples, and curled over his shoulders, pushing his shirt down his arms until it lay in a crumpled mess behind his back.

The warm lips shifted to his jaw, trailing light kisses along the sharp edge and then down his neck. They latched onto the skin just where it met with his shoulder, sucking hard and pulling the soft flesh into his mouth. A bright hickey appeared in their wake.

Face buried in against his boyfriend’s shoulder, Keith’s neck was bared to him once more. Small bruises darkening beneath delicate skin. Shiro’s eyes followed the trail, and then his mouth, pressing a soft kiss to every mark.

A breathy moan passed his lips. His lover’s hands were at his crotch, unbuckling his belt and pulling open the button. Shiro raised his hips and those eager hands grabbed at the waistband, pulling on the fabric, pants and underwear alike, until it all lay in a forgotten pile on the floor.

“Keith…touch me…”

He obliged. Deft fingers ran up and down Shiro’s cock, stroking it lightly as precum spilled steadily from the tip. Soft lips kissed at the underside of the man’s jaw; down over his Adam’s apple, feeling the faint vibrations of low moans taking shape beneath them. His legs spread wider, a whine rising in his throat as he pushed his hips closer to Keith’s body.

The young man’s lips found his boyfriend’s again, gentler this time. Heated palms slipping beneath muscular thighs, he raised them higher, putting Shiro’s most intimate parts on display. One hand reached down, mapping the curve of a round, firm cheek until his fingers pressed against the hole, feeling it pulse under his touch.

He froze.

 

The sharp intake of breath against his ear caught Shiro’s attention.

“What is it, Keith?”

“Shiro…” Keith muttered, chewing nervously on his lower lip. “I…I don’t have any lube…”

He looked down, inwardly cursing himself for not thinking ahead. The mood had been perfect; both him and his boyfriend so eager for this to finally happen, and he had ruined it.

Shiro let out a short, amused laugh.

“It’s ok, baby. I have some in my pocket.”

The first thought that entered Keith’s head was _‘why?’_. The second was _‘why am I even questioning it? Just get it!’_.

He twisted his body, reaching down for the trousers that lay discarded on the floor. His hands fumbled with them, shaky from his arousal and his desperation to locate that little plastic bottle.

One hand found the opening of a pocket and plunged inside. It closed around the bottle, pulling it out victoriously.

He lost his balance, falling backwards, but strong hands grabbed him just in time, yanking him back up onto the couch.

His heart was racing faster, but it wasn’t just the scare from his near-fall. It was the way Shiro was looking up at him, eyes burning with pure need. Keith’s breath hitched. He wanted to give his boyfriend everything those hungry eyes were pleading for.

 

The bottle cap was popped open and Keith squeezed the clear liquid onto his fingers. He spread it across them, now accustomed to the once strange feeling.

One hand dropped to his lover’s ass, fingertips following the curve until they met with his puckered hole. It twitched under his touch. Keith massaged it, making it slick, before slowly pressing one finger into the tight heat.

Strong hands appeared on his back, roughly pulling him forwards until his lips crashed against his lover’s needier ones. Fingers curled into his hair, tugging him closer and deepening their kiss.

Keith pushed his finger deeper, feeling his boyfriend’s tight walls rippling around him, adjusting to the intrusion. He began pumping it in and out, the slick fluid making the motion effortless.

He curled it upwards, searching for that spot that would make his lover feel good, and knew he’d found it when the muscles clamped down and Shiro cried out against his lips.

He thrusted in at this new angle, hitting his boyfriend’s prostate every time. Shiro’s moans of pleasure were lost against his tongue; smothered by passionate kisses.

 

Keith brought another fingertip to the rim, prodding at it lightly. Testing the resistance and finding none, he began working it in beside the first. His fingers moved in a scissoring motion, stretching his lover for what was to come.

Shiro’s arms wrapped tight around his shoulders, hugging him close as small whimpers and moans tumbled out across the heated skin of Keith’s neck. A third finger joined the others, increasing the stretch and eliciting louder moans.

The once-tight walls were now soft and pliant, relenting easily under his ministrations. Keith pulled his fingers out slowly, feeling Shiro subconsciously squeeze down around them, trying to keep them in place.

His lubricated hand clasped his own dripping cock, stroking it up and down and coating its lilac-tinted length; trickles of precum becoming lost in the glistening liquid. He whimpered under his own touch; throbbing, twitching, desperate for more.

One look at the desire and gentle encouragement painted across Shiro’s face and he scooched closer, pressing the tip to his lover’s entrance; his whole body trembling in anticipation.

He pushed slowly inside and a soft, pleasured moan passed his boyfriend’s lips.

“Keith~”

Shiro gasped as his rim was stretched wider, the first thick ridge starting to work its way in. He consciously relaxed his muscles and they accommodated, allowing it inside and closing around it.

Keith bit back a moan and buried his face against his boyfriend’s shoulder. His body quivered. The walls were warm, soft, and squeezing him just the right amount. Being inside Shiro felt so _good_.

“How does it feel?” he asked.

“It’s good, baby,” Shiro assured him. “Keep going.”

He pushed forward a little more, biting down on his boyfriend’s shoulder to stifle his whimpers at the wonderful feeling as the tight ring yielded to the second ridge, and then the third.

Shiro’s hands held firmly to Keith’s back, grounding himself as he felt his lover’s cock sink deeper, gradually thickening towards the base and easing him open further.

 

His hole stretched wide as the thickest part of his Keith’s length began to enter him. A shudder wracked through him. Every nerve around his rim felt overstimulated, like little jolts of electricity, as the ring was pulled taut.

“You ok, baby?”

“Mhmm. Keep going,” he repeated, taking a deep breath and relaxing his sphincter on the exhale.

Keith pressed a little harder and suddenly he was all the way in, his boyfriend’s tight muscle squeezing the base of his cock, locking it in place like it was a plug. He looked up at Shiro whose eyes were staring, unfixed; he looked somewhat out of it.

He was. His mind was filled with one thing and one thing only – those ridges pulsing and flexing inside him, massaging him in just the right spot. _Oh god, it felt so good._

He gradually became aware of hands on his face and worried eyes peering into his own. His gaze drifted to Keith’s lips, watching them move as they asked for confirmation he was ok.

He leaned forward, kissing those beautiful lips and quieting them.

“I’m good, baby. You can move now.”

 

Keith’s hands dropped to his boyfriend’s hips. He gripped them firmly and started to gently rock his own.

He withdrew slightly, making his lover moan as the flare passed his rim, and again as he slowly pushed it back inside.

His gaze settled on Shiro’s face, watching for any sign of discomfort, but he saw none, only pleasure. It boosted his confidence and he thrusted a little harder into that wonderful, warm hole; stretching it wide again and again.

He soon found a rhythm – smooth and slow and steady, but deep. He leaned in close, pressing their foreheads together; feeling his lover’s laboured pants ghosting over his lips, mixing with his own.

“Keith~ I love you~” The man wrapped his legs around Keith’s waist, pulling him closer.

“I love you too, Shiro~”

Their lips found each other’s, and they kissed deeply, passionately; tongues moving together languidly. All the world forgotten, it was as if they were the only two in existence; just them and their pleasure.

 

The young man quickened his pace, feeling that tight, warm sensation starting to build in his core; tightening further with every thrust.

Shiro bit his lip, letting his head fall back; fingers curling around his lover’s modest biceps as he started to roll his hips, making Keith moan wantonly at the added sensation.

One arm still tight around the boy’s shoulders, Shiro’s other hand slipped between them and wrapped around his own weeping cock. Too desperate to start slow, he pumped it quickly; precum smearing over the head with every stroke.

Keith leaned over his lover’s flushed face, raising a hand to caress his cheek; the nape of his neck. He connected their lips – gently at first but soon deepening it, kissing him until all the air was stolen from his lungs and they were both left breathless.

His boyfriend’s beautiful pants and moans filled the air. Keith bucked his hips harder, faster; eager to take Shiro higher, to coax even more beautiful sounds from within him.

“Oh god, Keith!”

Shiro started pumping his cock faster, in time with his boyfriend’s desperate thrusts. He was getting so close. Keith was hitting just the right spot. All the stimulation on his prostate and rim, coupled with his own hand working on his shaft, sending him right to the edge.

A few more hard thrusts and he was crying his lover’s name in ecstasy, cum shooting across his own chest and a little on Keith’s; his walls clamping down on his boyfriend’s length, contracting and spasming around it with every wave of pleasure.

Keith threw his arms around his lover, pulling him flush against his chest. A shudder wracked through his whole body as he came hard too, crying out in pleasure as the blissful waves of his orgasm rolled through him.

He held Shiro close, clinging tightly to him; his hips jerking involuntarily as he emptied load after load of hot seed into his boyfriend’s warm, willing hole.

 

Those pleasurable waves slowly died away, leaving him with a warm, contented feeling in his belly as he detached himself from the sweaty body beneath him and looked up into his lover’s face.

Their eyes met and Shiro let out a slightly-strained laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing really. I’m just… really full.”

Keith’s cheeked burned red and his hands found his boyfriend’s hips, holding them in place as he slowly withdrew. Pearly white cum followed, dribbling slowly down the crease of his cheeks and onto the blanket below.

Shiro’s hole was loose, glistening with lube, and pulsing as warm glob after warm glob of cum spilled out. Keith’s eyes were transfixed on it, unable to believe how much there was.

“Holy shit, there’s so much!” Keith laughed incredulously.

Shiro did too. The little spasms making his body push the seed out faster. It just kept coming and coming, the weird pressure in his abdomen gradually fading away. He could’ve been embarrassed, but he wasn’t – not with Keith.

Their laughter died away, and Keith slumped forward onto his boyfriend’s chest, nuzzling in against his neck, and for a while they just lay there, breathless and panting, basking in the afterglow of the love they had made.

 

……

 

Morning had come and gone. The muted light of daybreak passing through the thin curtain had roused them, but they had not moved. The bright square of sunlight had inched slowly across the wooden floor; time slipping away, almost without their notice.

Keith sighed contentedly, happily enveloped is his lover’s warm embrace and still naked from the night before. They cuddled under the blanket late into the day, exchanging lazy kisses and gentle caresses. Neither of them had anywhere to be so they decided to just enjoy their free time doing nothing but bask in each other’s presence.

Sadly, it wasn’t to last. Shiro’s phone started ringing.

The man groaned and craned his neck, searching the room for where he’d left his pants. He spotted them not far from the couch.

“Keith, baby, could you get my phone?”

The boy glanced at the mess of clothes on the floor and nuzzled in closer to his lover’s chest.

“Please, baby. You’re closer… and you’re on my arm.”

“ _Fine_.” He slipped out of the comfortable embrace and twisted himself, reaching out for Shiro’s pants. He had to stretch, teetering on the edge of falling off the couch again.

His fingertips caught a beltloop and he pulled the pants closer, digging into the pocket and retrieving his boyfriend’s still-ringing phone. “Here you go. Now you owe me.”

Shiro accepted the phone and quickly hit the answer button.

“Hello?”

“Ye-” He was cut off by whoever was on the other end.

There was a long pause. Keith could hear a faint grumbling coming from the speaker but couldn’t make out the words.

“Yes, Sir. I’ll be right there,” Shiro assured and he hung up.

“What’s up?” the boy asked worriedly.

“Commander Iverson wants to see me urgently. He sounds pretty pissed.”

“That’s nothing new. He’s always in a bad mood.”

“I suppose… Come on, we better get back the Garrison quick before he starts wondering what’s taking me so long.”

 

……

 

Shiro knocked on the closed door to Iverson’s office and waited patiently for a response.

“Come in,” the gruff voice called, and he did so.

The older man’s brows furrowed at the sight before him – his best student, who was always immaculately presented, dressed in possibly the most crumpled shirt he’d ever seen. He looked a complete mess.

“What state is that to present yourself in, Shirogane? You know we have a strict dress code.”

“I’m sorry, Sir. You said you wanted to see me urgently. I was in the middle of doing laundry, so this is all I had and…” His voice trailed off at the stern expression on his superior’s face. The man didn’t care for excuses. “I’m sorry, Sir. It won’t happen again.”

“That’s right, it won’t. Take a seat, Shirogane.”

Again, he did as instructed. Iverson really seemed to be in a foul mood and he didn’t want to do anything to worsen it.

“Is there anything you’d like to disclose to me?”

“Sir?” Shiro was confused. Sloppy appearance aside, he hadn’t done anything recently that would land him in trouble… except for sneaking off campus with Keith…

But Iverson couldn’t know that, right? He’d always been so careful. And if it _was_ about that, wouldn’t Keith be there too?

Elbows on the desk and hands clasped together, the man leaned forwards. “I just got off the phone with the guys from the lab and I must say I’m very disappointed. Your drug test came back positive.”

“What!?”

“The rules on this are quite clear. Substance abuse is a direct violation of the Garrison’s code of conduct – grounds for disqualification from all missions and immediate expulsion.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I want to say a big thank you to you all for supporting me and giving me such nice comments!  
> This chapter is a short one because I ended up writing a long one and splitting it. On the bright side, that means there's another chapter almost ready to be posted.

“There has to be some mistake! I would never-” Shiro began but Commander Iverson cut him off.

“Then explain the result.”

“I don’t know, but the test is wrong. It has to be!”

He couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Never – not once – had he ever failed a drug test. He just couldn’t understand why this was happening now – right when he was on the cusp of his big break; right when he was so close to living out his wildest dream – the dream he had invested years of dedicated and intense training into making a reality.

He felt like all those dreams had been crushed in an instant – compressed into a hard, heavy lump that was currently sitting at the bottom of his stomach, making him feel ill.

“False positives in these drug tests are rare, Shirogane,” his superior said simply.

“But they _are_ possible! And this _has_ to be one. You have to do another test!” Shiro pleaded.

“Why bother when you could just confess now and save us both the hassle?”

“I’m not confessing to something I didn’t do,” he stated firmly. “And I don’t take kindly to being accused, Sir. You know I’ve always been by the book. Why would I stop now?”

“You tell me. With the Kerberos mission coming up, I thought you’d be on your best behaviour. I thought this was important to you.” The man sighed in exasperation, pinching the bridge of his nose and exaggerating the near-permanent furrow in his brows. “I knew that Kogane kid would be a bad influence on you.”

“Sir? Just what are you implying?” The pilot was struggling to remain calm on the surface as he felt the spark of an emotion he seldom ever experienced – anger. Iverson had just pushed one of his buttons.

“I’m saying he probably played a part in this. I warned you to stay away from him. The boy’s nothing but trouble.”

Those accusatory words fuelled the sparks, igniting them into full-blown rage. _How dare Iverson say Keith is a bad influence! How dare he accuse Keith of leading him into a life of illegal drug use!_ He launched himself from his seat, slamming his hands on the desk as he did so.

“Don’t you bring Keith into this! It has nothing to do with him! And he’s been doing better these past few months – you know that!”

“Sit down, Shirogane! And don’t take that tone with me unless you want to be expelled this instant.”

Shiro stiffened. Shutting his eyes and his mouth, he took a deep breath in through his nose. He had to stay calm if there was to be any hope of resolving the situation. _Patience yields focus,_ he told himself and he muttered a quick “Sorry, Sir” as he sank back into his chair. He could be calm; he could be collected; but he was not about to become complacent – not when there was so much at stake.

 

“My point is, you _know_ me. You know how hard I’ve worked to get here. I’m not letting you take it away over a suspicion.” He stared right into this superior’s eyes, willing the man to try to find any hint of weakness.

Iverson sighed, conceding somewhat as he sat back in his executive chair.

“Most students would’ve confessed by now,” he admitted. “But if you’re so adamant it’s a mistake, then there _is_ a more sophisticated drug test we can carry out-”

“Do it.”

“It is rather expensive but, considering what a loss it would be for the Kerberos mission if you were disqualified, the Garrison would be willing to fund it. But I must warn you, Shirogane, if this test also comes back positive, there’s no disputing it. You’ll be out of here within the week.”

The thought was terrifying. _What would he do? Where would he go?_ There was nothing for him out there. Like Keith, everything he had resided within the four high walls of the Galaxy Garrison campus. He closed his eyes, strengthening his resolve.

“Understood.”

“Then I shall make the arrangements. You should receive the results within the next few days. In the meantime, you should continue with your training course as normal. This is not an excuse for you to slack off.”

“Of course not, Sir.” He rose from his seat and made his way to the door.

“Oh and, out of respect to you, the Garrison will be keeping this under wraps until we have solid evidence. Allegations like this could destroy your reputation so the only people who are aware of the situation are you, myself and the specialists in the lab. Our back-up pilot has also been informed he may need to take over your role on the Kerberos mission, but hopefully it won’t come to that. I hope for your sake you’re telling the truth and all this nasty business will blow over.”

 

……

 

Matt was mid-way through a raid in his favourite fantasy video game when he heard the door to the common room open. Eyes still locked on the screen, he caught a glimpse of Shiro’s crumpled shirt in his periphery, and smirked.

“Bit late in the day for a walk of shame, don’t you think?” he teased. “I take it you’ve been with Keith all this time. How’d it go?”

He didn’t receive a response so he looked up and the sight made his brows knit together in concern. The man was shaking with barely-contained rage.

“Shiro? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” he snarled. “I’m going to the gym.”

The younger man bit his tongue. He knew what that meant – Shiro was pissed and didn’t want to talk about it.

He watched silently as his best friend stormed off to his room, returned a moment later with his gym bag over one shoulder, and stalked back to the door.

“Talk to me later, yeah?” Matt called just before the door closed.

Shiro paused for a moment, making a noise of agreement, before heading off to the one place he would be able to vent.

He knew he would appreciate Matt’s offer later, but right now his mind was too clouded. So many emotions were welling up inside him; anger at the forefront, and he couldn’t hold it in much longer. He desperately needed this outlet.

 

……

 

Keith was alone in his room, blissfully unaware on the events transpiring elsewhere on the premises. He’d wished Shiro luck with whatever Iverson had wanted and come straight here with one very specific mission.

He had a day without classes, and some time separate from Shiro – it was the perfect opportunity to try out one of the toys his boyfriend had bought for him.

Lying on his bed, he reached down and popped the button on his jeans. He pulled down the zipper and pushed the denim aside. His fingertips traced the outline of his cock. It was already half-hard.

He stroked it lightly through the thin fabric of his boxers and felt it starting to harden further, the unusual shape of it becoming more noticeable.

At this point, he would usually pull the blanket over himself to save his eyes the painful reminder, but this time he didn’t. In fact, he hadn’t done that once since revealing himself to Shiro.

Shiro wanted him to feel confident in his own body; wanted him to feel sexy.

Keith wasn’t there yet, but he was trying. He pushed the front of his boxers down, hooking the waistband underneath his balls to keep the cloth out of the way as he grabbed his now fully-hard cock.

He examined it. His initial thought was still that it was ugly; disgusting.

The sickening feeling was less intense though, and even less with each subsequent session.

He thought back to the praises his boyfriend had given him – about how he was ‘beautiful’ and ‘gorgeous’ and ‘sexy’. He still didn’t believe any of them himself, but he knew Shiro was being sincere. That helped a little.

 

He dragged his fingertips up his length, over the ridges; watching them tighten together as a surge of pleasure shot through him.

He did it again, his eyes falling closed as he let out a content sigh.

He opened them again, recalling Shiro’s advice to watch himself masturbate – to try and bridge the gap he’d created in his mind between the feeling of pleasure and what his anatomy actually looked like.

His hand worked up and down his lavender shaft; breath coming out in warm little huffs as the heat around him seemed to build.

His eyes followed his movements, watching as droplets of precum leaked halfway down his cock, only to be caught by his thumb on the upstroke. He smeared them over the tip, biting his lip as a moan threatened to escape.

Shiro’s moans from the night before drifted into his mind, replaying so clearly as if he was hearing them now. They had been beautiful.

Keith stroked himself faster, recalling the blissful expressions on his boyfriend’s face as they had made love. He looked upon his cock with a new sense of admiration – it had been the thing to make Shiro feel so good, and he allowed himself to take pride in that.

 

Halting his ministrations, he rose from the bed; pulling off his jeans and underwear and casting them aside before resettling himself with his legs splayed.

He grabbed his new prostate massager and the bottle of lube from his nightstand and started coating the oddly-shaped black toy with the slick fluid. It was small, about as thick as his finger, so he didn’t bother with any extra preparation. It wasn’t necessary.

Fully lubricated, he pressed it against his hole and breathed deeply; relaxing his sphincter as he exhaled. Slowly, he pushed the toy inside, legs trembling slightly at the intense sensation as the slick material slid smoothly against his walls, gently coaxing them open.

Reaching the halfway point, his body sucked it in the rest of the way, until the specially-designed tip was nestled against his prostate, sending jolts of pleasure through his abdomen.

His head dipped back into the pillow and he clenched around the toy, just as Shiro had instructed, and he felt it move a little inside him; gently massaging into his sweet spot. The feeling was like little sparks of electricity. It was addictive, sending him into a sort of trance as his muscles started tightening and releasing of their own accord, taking control of his pleasure.

He unknowingly let out a whine as his hips raised, rolling to gain more friction even though it was in vain.

 

His hand reached down for his cock again; the entire length wet from precum and throbbing against his palm. He pumped it steadily, his mind filling with fantasies of Shiro touching him, praising him, telling him how beautiful he is…

His eyes snapped open again, locking onto his dick as he remembered his mission. He took in its appearance as best he could while his mind was so clouded with lust. His eyes roamed over it, taking in the thick, rippling bands of lavender that always made his stomach churn.

‘ _Beautiful~_ ’ Shiro’s voice purred in his imagination, banishing that negative thought, and a soft moan passed the boy’s lips.

Panting heavily, he worked his fingers into the grooves between those hard, purple ridges; massaging into the sensitive skin.

It sent waves of pleasure through him, tightening the coil in his lower belly and making his walls clamp down even more around his prostate massager. It rubbed harder against his sweet spot and he whimpered at the added sensation.

It was all so much. He could barely think straight anymore. All he knew was that he was close. His free hand grabbed the hem of his t-shirt, raising it to his collarbone and tucking it under his chin to save it from the impending mess.

His pace quickened; the wetness leaking down his shaft making a slick sound as he ran his hand over it, pumping himself desperately. The obscenity of it made him whimper again and he stuffed his fist into his mouth to quiet himself.

He bit down into the flesh of his thumb as the involuntary whines grew louder; needier. He was right on the edge, teetering on the precipice between heightened desire and sweet release, ready to just fall into bliss.

And he did. The tight coil unfurled rapidly, spreading warmth and pleasure throughout his entire body. A long moan rose from his throat but was muffled by the hand pressed flush to his mouth. His hips jerked and his legs shook as thick spurts of cum shot upwards, before splattering messily across his chest and face.

 

He panted heavily as the sweet sensations ebbed, looking down at his fist and noticing a wet circle surrounded by a ring of teeth marks.

His torso was almost plastered in sticky whiteness. His cum lay in at least four distinct lines, stretching from just below his ribs where they all blended together, right up to where his t-shirt lay bunched under his chin. It hadn’t been spared.

He felt the hot splodge of cum on his right cheek, just touching the corner of his lips, and wondered if he should try to lick it up. Shiro had said his cum tasted good. Keith had tasted the faint traces of its sweetness on his boyfriend’s lips before. Maybe he should try a bit more of it… Shiro would probably like that…

 

He was suddenly struck by another idea of what Shiro might like…

Keeping his body as still as he could, he reached for his nightstand; feeling around for his phone. His hand found it and he snatched it up, opening the front camera and holding it above himself.

Catching his own appearance, he blushed. His pupils looked larger, still reflecting the bliss he’d just felt, and his hair was damp and messy; sticking to the flushed skin of his face and neck.

He was embarrassed a little, but then he remembered that Shiro had seen him like this before. This is what he must’ve looked like after all their intimate encounters; and the man always seemed to like what he saw.

But still, Keith wasn’t used to taking selfies, and wondered for a while what expression he should use. _Do people smile in their nudes or is that weird? Was he even supposed to include his face?_

He knew he wasn’t going to include his junk. Even though the photo was only for Shiro, it wasn’t worth the risk of someone else possibly seeing it. He swung his free arm across his body, cupping his hand around his lilac balls and letting his forearm hide the shape of his softening cock.

He looked up at the screen, angling it until he thought he had a good shot. His eyes drifted to the image of his face, awkwardly trying out a series of what he’d intended to be sexy expressions, before giving up and opting to stick with his current, slightly dazed expression. That felt the most natural.

He snapped the picture and brought the phone closer to his face, scrutinising the image. He was no expert, but he thought it looked pretty good. And, more importantly, there was no hint of his unusual anatomy showing.

Feeling his heart rate quicken, he stared at the send button; thumb hovering over it. His stomach was twisting in a mixture of nerves and exhilaration. After a moment, his excitement won the battle and he jabbed at the button before he could change his mind; then buried his face into the pillow to hide his reddening cheeks as he imagined what Shiro’s response would be.

 

……

 

Matt wasn’t sure how much time had passed but it had definitely been a while since Shiro had left. The battery in his wireless controller had run down and he’d had to connect the lead. It was too short to reach the sofa, so he’d begrudgingly relinquished his seat for a less comfortable spot on the floor, so he could be close enough to the TV.

He heard the door open again and his gaze flicked up, expecting his best friend, but he was wrong. It wasn’t Shiro.

“Keith?... If you’re looking for Shiro, he’s not here. He went to the gym.”

“Oh, ok.” The cadet turned to leave.

“I wouldn’t go after him though – he’s in a pretty bad mood… Hey, you were with him this morning, right? Do you know what happened? You two didn’t have a fight, did you?”

“No!” Keith said defensively, turning to face the other. “He got called into Iverson’s office a few hours ago. I haven’t seen him since… and he’s not answering his phone… I think he turned it off…” He trailed off.

“What did Iverson want with him?”

“I don’t know… but Shiro said he sounded pissed on the phone…”

Matt could tell the boy was concerned and tried to put him at ease. “Don’t worry about it so much, Keith,” he said with a gentle smile. “Whatever Iverson said obviously just rubbed him the wrong way. He’s probably beating the shit out of a punchbag right now, imagining it’s Iverson’s face.” He laughed a little. “Just leave him alone for a while.”

Keith clenched his fists. “But if he’s upset, I should be there!”

“Look, I get it. You want to help. But trust me – there’s nothing you can do for him at the moment. You haven’t known him as long as I have so-”

Keith shot him an angry glare.

“That’s not a dig. It’s just a fact,” Matt stated. “You haven’t seen what he gets like when he’s mad yet. Well, this is it – he turns off his phone and disappears off to the gym to vent. There’s no point going after him. When he’s angry like this, he can’t see sense. Just give him some time to cool off. He’ll come back when he’s calmed down and ready to talk.”

 

The cadet was suddenly reminded of just how close Shiro and Matt were; how long their shared history was. They’d been friends for years before Keith had even joined the Garrison – ever since they had become roommates in first year, Shiro had told him.

And Matt had definitely helped the man through some tough times in the past. Despite everything Keith been through with Shiro, sometimes, he felt like he couldn’t measure up.

“Keith,” Matt said softly, catching his attention. “Do you want to wait here until he comes back? I know we don’t really hang out… but I think we should.”

“What are you talking about? We hang out plenty.”

“Not really. We all hang out together, but you don’t really talk to me… Sometimes, I get the sense you don’t like me.”

Keith shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. He’d never meant to give that impression.

“It’s not that. It’s just… you and Shiro are so close…”

“You shouldn’t be intimidated by that. You and him are close too. I just have more time on my side, but he’s really serious about you, y’know? I’m glad he found someone like you.”

Keith didn’t know what to say, but luckily Matt did.

“I have an extra controller if you want to join me,” he offered, smiling warmly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE NOTE I'M POSTING TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY! THIS IS THE SECOND, SO MAKE SURE YOU'VE READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER SO THERE ISN'T ANY CONFUSION OR SPOILERS!  
> Again, thanks for all the love and support.
> 
> Brief hiatus has been extended. I am currently working on the next chapter but it's going slower than planned. Please be patient. This fic has not been abandoned.

Keith and Matt were both sitting cross-legged on the floor, controller in hand, when the door to the post-grad barracks opened and Shiro entered. Two worried gazes locked onto him instantly.

Matt took note of his friend’s more kempt appearance but gasped when he noticed his eyes were red and puffy, as if he’d cried recently. The younger man was on his feet in an instant.

“Have you been crying!?”

Shiro cursed himself inwardly. His eyes must’ve given him away. He didn’t want Matt to see him like this. Or Keith. _Wait. Why was Keith there? And why was he playing video games with Matt?_

“What happened, Shiro?” the boy demanded, jumping up from the floor too. “Was it Iverson? What did he say to you?”

“M-my drug test… it came back positive…” Shiro admitted, gritting his teeth. “So, I might be off the Kerberos mission… and worse, I might be expelled…”

“WHAT!?”

“It’s gotta be a false positive, right?” Matt reasoned. “They happen sometimes.”

“Is that even possible?” Keith asked, eyes narrowing. “Iverson told us the Garrison’s drug tests are completely accurate.”

“Actually, that’s a lie,” Matt divulged. “I see them being done all the time in the lab.  The samples just go through a standard immunoassay drug test. That’s the one that only looks for certain classes of chemicals. It doesn’t differentiate between the exact chemicals within each class, so it can’t tell us if the substance in a sample is an illegal drug or just a similar substance which isn’t, but also happens to be in that class.”

The cadet’s eyes widened in shock, understanding enough to be pissed. “What the fuck!? How can they get away with that!?”

Matt shrugged his shoulders. “It’s a simple matter of cost. Immunoassays are cheap.” He turned to Shiro. “I hope you’re getting a GS-MC.”

His question was followed by two confused looks, so he clarified. “That’s the more accurate test that resolves down to the individual chemicals. It’s pretty expensive but it’s common procedure when the immunoassay comes back positive, so that no one is unfairly dismissed.”

“Oh. Yeah, Iverson did say they were gonna do that,” Shiro replied. “But not before he tried to force a confession out of me.”

“HE WHAT!?” Keith cried incredulously.

“It was almost like he was trying to get me to admit to taking drugs just so he wouldn’t have to bother paying for a retest… That’s why I was so mad.” In truth, that was only half the reason, but Keith didn’t need to know about the part involving him, which is what had really pushed Shiro over the edge.

“THAT BASTARD! I’LL MAKE HIM FUCKING PAY!” The cadet’s fists clenched and his eyes glowed with murderous rage.

“Keith, calm down,” Matt said softly for what felt like the tenth time that day. As it turned out, the boy was terrible at fantasy video games and when he lost, he liked to throw his controller on the floor or at the screen.

The man turned to his friend. “That is highly unethical though. I can’t believe Iverson did that… I know he’s a dick and all, but… What happened after that?”

Shiro plopped down on the nearest sofa. “That was it. I told him he wasn’t getting rid of me without proof and then he said they’d retest my sample and I left…”

“And you’ve been in the gym all this time?” Keith prodded. “You didn’t answer any of my calls … I was worried about you…”

“I’m sorry, baby. I just… I wanted to be alone… and I didn’t want to say anything to you I’d regret.”

“I could’ve taken it.”

“You shouldn’t have to. I shouldn’t even have gotten that bad.” Shiro let his face fall into his hands and sighed. “I just want this whole thing to blow over.”

“And it will,” Matt assured, sitting down beside him and rubbing soothing circles across his back. “You just need to ride it out ‘til it does.”

“What if it doesn’t though? What if I lose this? Everything I’ve worked for…” He stared helplessly at his open palms. He could almost see his dreams slipping through his fingers.

 

Keith had never seen his boyfriend look so defeated, and his heart ached at the sight.

He knew what being dismissed would mean for Shiro – not only would his dreams of space travel never reach fruition, but he’d also be tossed out into the unforgiving world with no family to rely on and no qualifications or experience that could land him any sort of a decent job. He’d invested all of himself into becoming an exploration pilot, and why not? He was good at it. No one thought he needed a plan B.

The cadet was at a loss for words to comfort him.

Matt didn’t seem to be though.

“You’re thinking way too much into this. False positives aren’t that uncommon, and they can happen for all sorts of reasons – like if you start new medication or change your diet and stuff like that.”

“I haven’t changed anything though,” Shiro argued. “There’s no reason I’d suddenly fail one after passing every single one so far.”

“Shiro, you need to stop worrying so much. It’s just a fluke. The test will come back clear and everything will be fine,” Matt reassured, hooking an arm around the man’s broad shoulders and pulling him into a half hug.

“But what if it doesn’t? Nothing’s ever been flagged up in my medicals in the past, and now, right when I’m about to go on the biggest mission of my life, and with _you_ no less – it was a dream come true and suddenly it feels like it’s being ripped away from me.”

“Look, man, you need to get your mind off this or you’re just gonna keep spiralling. Stressing isn’t gonna change the outcome. We already know it’s gonna come back fine so just try to forget about it until you get the results, ok?”

“That’s easier said than done, Matt.”

“What if you had some help~?” A sly smirk spread across his face and he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Matt, I shouldn’t…”

“Come on~ If you don’t, you’re just going to keep worrying about it. I know you can’t switch off. And besides, I have _just_ the thing to make you about forget this whole mess until morning.”

Shiro caved and a small smile graced his lips. “Go on then,” he said, giving Matt a nudge with his elbow.

 

The younger man was gone in a flash, headed in the direction of his bedroom.

He reappeared in the doorway a few moments later, holding a big, glass bottle of brand name vodka and another bottle which Keith didn’t recognise. It looked expensive though.

Shiro gasped. “Not your good vodka! I couldn’t!”

“It’s all I have right now,” the young man admitted. “And besides, I’ve been saving it for a rainy day. I think this qualifies.” He offered his friend a sympathetic smile as he set the bottles down on the coffee table and disappeared off into the kitchen.

Keith eyed the clear one carefully, tilting his head.

“What’s so good about that vodka?”

Shiro laughed, remembering how little his boyfriend knew about alcohol. “It’s good quality so that means it doesn’t taste like paint stripper.”

Keith made a face. “Why would you even buy something that tastes like paint stripper?”

“Because, Keith.” Matt emerged from the kitchen cradling a big bottle of soda, three glasses and a stack of plastic shot glasses in his arms. “We like getting drunk but we’re also pretty poor.”

He walked slowly back to the coffee table, trying his best not to drop anything. He didn’t believe in taking two trips and he was not about to give Shiro ammunition for the next time he reopened that debate.

Matt carefully freed a glass from the crook of his elbow and placed it in front of the boy. “Want to try some?”

“Umm, sure…I guess.”

The bottle of apparently-good-quality vodka was opened and a small amount poured into the bottom of Keith’s glass, followed by a much bigger volume of soda.

The boy examined the liquid and gave it a tentative sip, acknowledging that maybe it did go down a bit smoother than his last drink of vodka.

He looked up over the rim of his glass and watched as Matt filled the other two glasses, noting that he made both their drinks a lot stronger – especially Shiro’s.

Shiro gave his best friend a grateful smile as he accepted the glass and downed the drink in two mouthfuls.

“I just don’t understand how it could come up positive. Nothing has changed since my last medical. I haven’t-”

Matt cut him off. “If you’re still thinking about it, then you need another drink!” He promptly filled a shot glass with the brightly-coloured contents of the other bottle and shoved it into his friend’s hand, celebrating as Shiro knocked it back. “Oh! D’you know what we need? A drinking game!”

He twisted in his seat to reach for the side table, retrieving a deck of standard playing cards and laid them out face down on the coffee table in a diamond shape.

“Shiro, you go first,” he insisted. “Keith, you can watch ‘til you get the hang of it.”

The older man finished pouring his second glass of vodka and started turning over cards. Keith wasn’t quite sure what was going on because he didn’t know the rules yet, but he figured it must have something to do with face cards. Every time one showed up, Matt shouted “DRINK!”

The boy hadn’t worked out what determined how many drinks the player had to take yet though, so he continued to watch as the others took it turnabout, gradually growing more and more inebriated.

Keith looked down at his own glass. It was still pretty full, and he briefly wondered if he should chug it to catch up to the others.

 

“DRINK!” Matt shouted happily at Shiro for the umpteenth time.

“You rigged it!”

“No, I didn’t~ You just have terrible luck~”

“I _saw_ you peeking at the card before you put it down!”

“Nuh uh! You’re seeing things. Maybe you really are on drugs~” he teased.

“Or maybe you’re just a liar! Besides…” Shiro turned to face his boyfriend. “Keith~ you’re the only drug I need~”

The cadet spat out his drink. “What the fuck?”

Still choking a little, he looked over at his boyfriend who was most certainly looking at ‘tipsy’ in the rear-view mirror as he grinned widely at him from across the coffee table.

Keith had seen him drunk before, but not this much.

 “It’s a good thing you’re drunk, or I’d probably dump you on the spot for saying something so disgustingly soppy.”

The man only laughed. “We both know that’s an empty threat~”

Keith picked up his drink again. It was almost empty now, so he downed the last of it and reached for the other bottle, intent on taking enough shots to get on their level.

Fingertips brushing the side of the bottle, he paused; Shiro’s words repeating in his mind and striking some sort of chord.

_‘You’re the only drug I need’._

_Was that possible? Could he be the drug?_

It was a stupid thought. He tried to push it aside.

 

“Keith, you ready to give it a go?” Matt cut through his musings, startling him.

“Uh… sure… I didn’t really catch the rules though…”

“It’s simple! Just work your way up the table, flipping the cards. When you hit a face card you drink!”

“And whatever level you’re on, you take that many drinks,” Shiro added.

“Ok, I think I’ve got it.”

Keith leaned forward, flipping the nearest card and noting it was quite sticky. They all were. He guessed it was probably alcohol from previous nights and that didn’t seem like much of a stretch considering the coffee table was already pretty wet from all of Matt and Shiro’s spills.

Keith flipped over another card. It was a King. Matt ordered him to take two drinks and after pouring himself two shots, he complied, but they had little effect on him and he quickly drifted back into his own thoughts.

 

_Shiro had been wrong earlier. There_ had _been a change in his diet, so to speak – something he obviously hadn’t considered, and why would he? It’s not something most people would think of. Maybe Shiro knew it was irrelevant or maybe he’d overlooked it, but there was one new thing he’d been ingesting frequently, and in copious amounts, over the past few weeks._

Keith pulled out his phone, ready to do some research.

His thumbs hovered over the onscreen keyboard, hesitant to type the question racing through his relatively-sober mind. He glanced around, ensuring no one was watching him.

There was no one there but the three of them so he dismissed his fears as paranoia and began to type.

_‘Can drugs enter your system from swallowing semen?’_

He felt stupid for even searching it, but now that the thought was in his head, he had to make sure.

He clicked on the first link – a similar question being asked on an advice forum – and read through the responses, sighing internally when he noticed there was about a 50/50 split between people saying yes and those saying no. And nobody had added any sources to back up their statements. He backtracked, looking for a more helpful webpage.

 

“ _Keith,_ it’s your turn again.” Matt prodded, startling him.

“Huh? Oh… you two just play on without me,” he insisted and, after a worried look from Shiro which he brushed off with an “I’m fine, I promise”, they did.

Keith searched and he searched but there didn’t seem to any reputable sources either confirming or denying his suspicion. It did seem plausible though. If there were drugs in someone’s semen, they could conceivably pass into someone’s bloodstream, and then their urine.

Everything he’d read though said that there couldn’t be drugs in semen in the first place unless that person had been taking drugs. Keith knew he hadn’t, but what if somehow, they were naturally there?

He knew he wasn’t normal; definitely some sort of freak. Shiro had tried to tell him otherwise, but he still knew it was the truth. His cum tasted different too – his boyfriend had said as much. That meant it could have a different composition and maybe some of those components were classed as ‘drugs’.

 

_He’d always known there was something abnormal with his body, ever since early puberty when he’d had his first sex education class. He’d seen the pictures and the diagrams, and realised immediately that he didn’t match up._

_He didn’t have anyone he could’ve talked to about his issues because there wasn’t a single person in his life who he trusted. Besides, he’d seen enough movies in his time. Things didn’t end well for a ‘mutant’ who was discovered – they were always captured for experimentation or hunted down like animals._

_He didn’t want that to happen to him. It was much easier to pretend everything was fine and keep his shameful secret to himself. No one ever needed to know._

 

Now Shiro knew. He’d been so kind and understanding and that’s how Keith had found it in himself to trust him with something so messed up. And Shiro had just accepted him right away. He hadn’t treated him any different since the big reveal, and the cadet was extremely grateful for that.

He glanced up from his phone, at the man he loved so much.

He and Matt had abandoned their drinking game. Both rosy-cheeked, they had slid so far down the sofa that they were closer to lying down than simply slouching.

Faces close, they were whispering excitedly. At least, they thought they were whispering. Inebriated past the point of knowing what a normal speaking volume was, they chatted loud enough for Keith to hear every word.

He quickly realised they were reminiscing about all the shenanigans they’d gotten up to on previous nights of drinking.

“D’you remember that time we built the blanket fort in our dorm room?” Matt laughed.

“I remember the morning after – when Iverson came by for the room inspection and we had to shove all the blankets into the laundry basket to hide them.”

“Oh yeah, and do you remember where I hid the rum?”

Shiro snickered. “Yeah! Down your pants! Oh my god, you looked like you had a boner!”

Keith smiled a little. He was glad his boyfriend was so relaxed now. It was good to hear him laughing again.

He wished he could relax as well, but now that he had dived down the rabbit hole with his ‘drugged semen’ theory, he couldn’t get it out of his head.

 

_It made little sense to him. It was completely preposterous… well, not completely…_

_Whether he’d opened his mind to stranger things, or it was simply just the shots kicking in, there was still a small part of his brain that believed in it and at that moment, it was the part which was speaking the loudest…_

“Hey, d’you remember that time we kissed?” Shiro giggled drunkenly.

Keith’s gaze flicked up again, attention piqued.

“ _You_ kissed _me!_ ” Matt shot back defensively but he was giggling also. “I had no active part in it!”

The cadet’s brows furrowed. “You guys _kissed??”_

Shiro jumped a little. “Keith! …I’m sorry! You were so quiet I forgot you were here,” he called across the room in a drunken slur.

Being the more sober one, Matt sat up to look the boy in the eye. “It was back in first year,” he explained. “When Shiro had a crush on me.”

“A _small_ crush!” Shiro emphasised, grabbing his friend by the arm and squeezing it; giving him what he hoped was a ‘remember-that’s-my-boyfriend-you’re-talking-to’ look.

Matt caught it and corrected himself. “Alright, he had a _small_ crush on me, and one night we were just chilling out and drinking in our room. I went to the toilet and when I came back I saw him fucking wasted, just lying there on the dorm room floor...  I went to help him up and next thing I knew, his mouth was _on_ me!”

Shiro pouted as he looked up at him. “It was your fault, Matt! I was drunk. All I knew was your face was right there – I misread the situation!”

“You _stole_ my first kiss!” Matt leaned over him, giving him a mock-accusatory glare.

A cheeky grin played across the older man’s face. “Yeah well, you should be glad~ That’s all the action you got that year!”

The playful banter evolved into a half-hearted wrestling session, accompanied by a cacophony of drunken giggling. Keith looked away from Matt and Shiro’s ‘bromance’, feeling sure he knew exactly why Matt didn’t get that much attention from the girls.

He turned back to his phone – he had a much more important matter to deal with.

 

_He recalled the ‘alien’ dildo he’d seen on Shiro’s laptop. It still bugged him. He didn’t believe in aliens; or more accurately, he didn’t want to. Because if they did exist (and Matt was so adamant they did), then maybe he was one of them and that thought scared him._

_But regardless of that at the moment, the main issue was Shiro. However small the chance, he had to be sure he wasn’t the reason for his boyfriend failing the drug test. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he was._

He clicked on another link and suddenly a loud, sexual moan erupted from his phone. His heart stopped and he rushed to mute the unexpected video.

It was too late though. Two pairs of drunk but curious eyes were on him.

“Are you… watching porn?” Matt asked incredulously, quirking an eyebrow.

“N-No!” Keith felt his face burning with embarrassment, right up to the tips of his ears. Shoving those feelings down, he tried to get the attention off himself by saying something snarky. “Like I’d even bother when there’s practically a live porno going on right in front of me. Look at the state of you two!”

 

At some point while he was distracted, Shiro and Matt had twisted themselves into one giggling mess of tangled limbs. They looked at each other and then back at Keith.

“If you’re jealous, just come and join us, baby~ There’s room for one more~”

Keith rolled his eyes at Shiro’s suggestive offer, deciding it was much less fun to be around drunk people when he wasn’t drunk himself.

 

……

 

“Shiro~” Matt prodded, poking a finger hard against the man’s cheek.

His only response was a sleepy groan of protest and a weak shove.

He laughed. “Keith, he’s fading. We better get him to bed.”

Shiro made another whiny complaint as Matt disentangled himself from him and stood from the couch. He hooked an arm around his drunken friend’s shoulders and started to pull him up into a sitting position – well, he tried to anyway.

Keith was at his side almost immediately to assist. Together they pulled Shiro to his feet and supported him down the hall, into his room, and set him down gently on the edge of his bed. Then Matt bid the two goodnight and left.

 

As the door clicked shut, Keith looked down at his boyfriend who was starting to slump in his sitting position, clearly on the verge of falling asleep.

“Keith~ Stay the night~”

He’d never seen the man look or sound so pathetic.

“Ok,” the boy conceded. It would be best not to leave him alone in this state.

He started unbuttoning his boyfriend’s crumpled shirt. It was awkward. Somehow it had become bunched up in places and twisted around his body, the buttons trailing off towards his right hip.

Suddenly, the man’s mouth as on him, giving him a sloppy kiss as hands squeezed his butt cheeks.

Keith could taste the alcohol on his tongue and pulled away. “Stop it, Shiro. I’m just getting you ready for bed.”

The whine and pout he got in response did nothing to persuade him.

He continued removing the shirt, undoing the remaining buttons and freeing Shiro’s wrists from the cuffs. He dropped the fabric to the floor and eased his boyfriend down onto the bed.

His hands moved to the man’s pants, unfastening them and slowly working them down his legs. It was much more difficult than usual, because Shiro wasn’t helping in the slightest. His legs were essentially dead weight.

Once he was down to just his underwear, Keith decided that was good enough – it would be too much hassle to try and wrestle him into his sleepwear too. Come to think of it, the cadet wasn’t sure if he even wore pyjamas.

He removed his own jeans for comfort and climbed into the bed alongside his boyfriend, throwing the duvet over them both. He gathered from the light snoring beside him that Shiro had already fallen asleep, and he tried to do the same.

 

……

 

Several sleepless hours had passed and all Keith could do was toss and turn restlessly as he worried about the results of Shiro’s second drug test.

For the past hour, he had been intermittently pulling out his phone; researching the same crazy idea; telling himself it was stupid and shoving it away; before reaching for the device again just to be sure.

Eventually, it had all culminated in this – Keith fully-dressed again and slowly creeping down the corridor towards Matt’s room.

Reaching it, he knocked quietly on the door. There was no answer.

He knocked again, a little louder. Still no response.

He tried the handle and to his surprise found it unlocked. He opened it slowly and quietly, poking his head around the door and peering into the darkened room.

“Matt?” he whispered. “Matt?”

He crept closer to the bed, his eyes adjusting to the dim room and soon the other man’s dishevelled sleeping form came into view. He snored loudly.

Keith poked him, quietly calling his name again and he stirred.

“Huh? Wha?... KEITH!” Matt bolted up in his bed, heart racing. “What’re you doing here!?”

“Shhhh!” Keith urged. “I need to ask you something.”

Matt rubbed his eyes and squinted at his alarm clock. “At this time?”

“Yes.” The young man bit his lip nervously. “Matt… is there any chance Shiro might’ve failed his drug test because of me?”

“How do you mean?”

“You know…” _God, this was so awkward._ “If he… swallowed something…” Keith gestured towards his crotch, avoiding the other’s gaze. He was sure his cheeks were bright red, but he hoped it wasn’t noticeable in the low light.

“Oh!” Matt’s eyes widened in realisation. He cleared his throat, awkwardness rising within him as well. “Why are you coming to _me_ about that!?”

“Well, you’re smart… I didn’t know who else to ask…. So, could it happen or not?”

 

Matt rubbed at his chin. “I suppose it’s possible… but he would’ve had to have swallowed a lot of- NO! I am _not_ having this conversation with you, Keith!” He waved his arms frantically as if trying to erase the past few minutes.

Keith’s heart sank and his shoulders slumped. It _was_ possible _._

“Look, Keith. That wouldn’t matter anyway. Unless… you were taking drugs… Are you?”

“NO!” he cried defensively.

“Then there’s nothing to worry about. Go back to sleep.”

“But there might be!”

“How?”

He opened his mouth, ready to argue but then sighed in defeat. “I can’t tell you… but please, Matt. I need your help. Shiro _has_ to go to Kerberos. I’m begging you, please help me!”

Matt quirked an eyebrow. “What exactly do you want me to do?”

“I need you to get me access to the lab so I can swap Shiro’s sample.”

“WHAT!? Keith, that’s crazy! Do you have any idea how much trouble we’d get in!? I’d be pulled from the Kerberos mission too! And you’d be expelled!”

“Please, Matt! I can’t be the reason Shiro’s dreams are destroyed. You know him! You know this is all he has. Please… he can’t lose it because of me…”

Matt rubbed at his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t believe he was even considering this. _It was insane. It was unethical. But it was for Shiro. How could he say no?_

“Alright,” he conceded, grabbing his glasses from the nightstand and putting them on.

“You mean you’ll do it?”

“Yeah. You’re right – Shiro needs this.” He gave the cadet a wry smile. “And like I always say, ‘what the Garrison doesn’t know, won’t hurt ‘em’.”

 

……

 

The usually-benign hallways looked more sinister in the dim glow of the emergency signs. Those were the only lights kept on at this late hour, and they flickered a little, casting faint but strange shadows along the walls.

It unsettled Keith. Even the slightest movement in his periphery heightened his anxiety and put him even more on edge.

Sneaking off-campus just after lights-out was one thing. A misdemeanour at worst. But this – breaking into a secure lab to tamper with a drug investigation – that was downright illegal.

He couldn’t believe the man in front of him had agreed to this. He was thankful he had, of course, but he was also very aware of how much Matt stood to lose if their plan failed.

Keith could tell he was scared too. He could only see the man’s back, but he could sense the trepidation in his stance and his shallow, shaky breaths.

So far, everything had gone without a hitch. They had been swift, silent, and unseen by any of the Garrison’s night guards. He only hoped their luck would continue and the odds would stay in their favour.

 

Matt stopped and kneeled as they reached the door to the Science Lab, and began taking apart the digital lock.

“What’re you doing!?” Keith hissed. “I thought you had a key card or something!”

The man gave him a pointed look. “I do, but I’m not stupid. If I used it the Garrison would know I was here. They keep tabs on whose key card is used and when.”

“Oh…”

Keith went silent and turned his attention to the hall, watching and listening in case any of the night guards would come by; but he couldn’t help sneaking glances at Matt as his deft fingers tinkered with the electronics, disconnecting wires and reconnecting others. He knew what he was doing, and the cadet was impressed.

Soon, the light flicked from red to green and the door was unlocked; and Keith continued to stand guard as the other slipped inside.

 

……

 

Matt glanced around the familiar lab – not quite so familiar in the low light, but he knew the layout by heart. He weaved his way between the workbenches to the back of the room, to the fridge he knew stored the untested samples.

He opened the door, startling himself a little at the sound. It seemed louder than usual but he knew it was only because he was so on-edge.

His torch and eyes scanned the first shelf. It was loaded with metal racks holding dozens of identical vials of urine, but he was not put off by the sight – it was a common one when working in the lab, even though he personally didn’t have the authority to test samples.

Matt studied the label on each test tube, searching for the one that read _‘T. Shirogane’_ but it wasn’t there.

He crouched down a little, checking the vials on the second shelf. It wasn’t there either, and he started to panic.

He double-checked every label, just to be sure, but eventually he sighed – he was too late. Shiro’s sample was gone. It had already been tested.

 

……

 

Two guards appeared around the corner, spotting Keith before he had a chance to hide.

“Hey! What’re you doing here?” one of them shouted as they rushed forwards.

Keith had to think fast. _What could he do?_

Thinking back to how Shiro had been earlier, he feigned drunkenness.

“Am not doin anythin,” he slurred, falling backwards and slamming his back into the door; making a loud thud and hoping Matt would take it as a signal not to come out.

 

……

The noise startled Matt and he quickly ducked under the nearest table. _What was going on outside?_ He listened intently, catching the sound of voices outside – one of which was definitely Keith’s, but he sounded… _drunk_.

_Who else was out there? Had some guards caught him? Was this his plan to throw off any suspicion at being caught near the lab? Admittedly, it was quite clever, but definitely not without punishment._

……

 

Keith suddenly remembered the electronic lock, hanging from the wall by a few exposed wires. _Had the guards spotted it yet?_ He didn’t think so.

He kept his eyes on the two men, hoping to hold their attention as he pretended to stagger, shifting to the right and blocking their view of the dismantled lock.

“You better come with us,” the taller guard said sternly.

Keith hesitated. He wanted to go quietly. Maybe then he’d have a chance of escaping expulsion. _But was it safe to move away from the lock?_ One of them could still notice it and if they did, they’d definitely find Matt.

“No.”

“That wasn’t a suggestion,” the guard snarled, wrapping a firm hand around his arm and giving it a rough tug. Keith resisted.

The second guard approached him from the other side and the cadet backed up against the wall. “What’re you hiding?” the man demanded, grabbing a fistful of the boy’s sleeve.

Keith panicked. He couldn’t let them see the lock. He launched himself forward, throwing a punch at the second guard. It caught him right in the face, breaking his nose.

The boy’s heart stopped at the sight of blood, but his body didn’t. He kept thrashing with his arms and legs as the guards grabbed him and fought to get him under control.

His blood was running cold and everything around him sounded muffled, but what little mind he still had told him to keep fighting; to keep distracting them as they carted him off; until they’d turned several corners and were far away from Matt.


End file.
